A Whisper

The end of 2010 is approaching and I could really care less right now.  I'm not feeling it this year.  I didn't really feel it last year.  It's more of a "hey. 2010 will be over in 4 hours. weird." feeling.  I mean, yeah, there's a sliver of "wee hoo! new year!" excitement, but it's mostly drained by the whole...Nothing is different.  Resolutions are bullshit.  Why do you need to wait until the year is over to change something you don't like about yourself?  It's just an excuse to put it off.  Just fucking do it.

Basically, everything in life can be extremely complicated, or incredibly simple.  And I choose simple.  Not in the sense that things can't be complex or difficult, of course they can (and most definitely will be).  But I mean, I barely made a high enough GPA in order to keep my scholarship.  Option A: freak out, get depressed because I can't handle the pressure, things get worse because I make it worse.  Option B: shut the fuck up, do my work and do better next semester.  Simplicity.  I'm a fan.

So here ends 2010 and you know what I'll be doing?  Absolutely nothing noteworthy.  But then again, I guess thats how it is pretty much all the time.

A new favorite quote: You know how subatomic particles don't obey physical laws? They act according to chance, chaos, coincidence. They run into each other in the middle of the universe somewhere, and bang! Energy! That's the great thing about the universe. It's unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun.

We Make Mistakes

But we apologize with roses


<3 Rise Against.  I can't wait until they come to Dallas.  It will make my YEAR when I finally get to see a show of theirs.  I'm glad I didn't buy the ticket to see Lady Gaga spring break.  Instead I might go on a trip and my grandparents may come and I can use that money towards a different show :)

Today was racked with disappointment and irritation on a certain front but also a really calming walk with Nike around the park and neighborhood with Bassnectar and Skrillex in my ears.  Then I came home and got Photoshop Elements 8 on my laptop. yay!  I know its not the latest one but I've been going without it for a long time now so I'm just glad I have something and I like the Elements package since I'm no pro.

Lots to do! Christmas is on Friday! Eeek! I haven't gotten my family anything yet.  But I know what I'm getting, I just haven't been able to go get them.

We had guests yesterday.  A friend of my mothers came with her two daughters, both a bit younger than me.  It was awkward though because they didn't speak english and my korean is limited to "food" "milk" "hello" and "thank you."  But we had some family friends over and I learned how to make a white russian which made the night much more enjoyable.  It ended with 3 episodes of Chuck, lol.  Now is the only time I have to catch up on my shows!

Weeee hooo. Don't really know what to say.  Blogging is getting...redundant for me.

Crazy! Cool!

Igår hann jag spela biljard, handla några julklappar, köpa en skiva åt mig själv (BASSNECTAR - COZZA FRENZY. SÅ HEMSKT BRA), äta hos familjen och softa med en kompis innan jag kollade på lite serier (big bang!) och filmen Requiem For A Dream.

Asså, filmen var otroligt bra.  Fattar inte att jag väntade typ 6 år att se den.  Jag minns i högstadiet en vän berättade om filmen och jag tänkte kolla då.  Och sen...ja, jag vet helt enkelt inte.  Men nu har jag sett den och den är awesome.

Imorse vaknade jag och får och åt på Taco Cabana med några vänner. Sen betalade jag hyran (aaaaaah hatar att betala så mycket...) och kom hem och duschade.  Nu är det dags för biljarder (igen!) och sen en lite "hemmafest" (typ en gathering) där vi ska exchange secret santa gifts.

Imorrn kommer min bror och vi ska spela biljard tillsammans och sen åker jag hem några veckor :) Weee hooo!!

Stick a fork in me

Cause I'm done.
I'm done with my fall semester and I'm done with any and all drama.  It wasn't that bad at all this entire year though.  Whenever I complain about stuff it's because I'm being a pussy really and just need to man up.  I've learned a number of things about myself and the people around me this year and as long as I'm still happy and the people around me are happy, life is good.

Of course there will always be the hard times, but generally everyone is pretty happy.  They're enjoying life, y'know?
And I'm enjoying life.
This past week with finishing all my finals has been the best.  Really.  I've spent time with the people I love and pulled things together and have definitely been having fun.


If I died tonight, I would have no regrets. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is incredibly liberating.

Break My Body, Break-Break My Soul

I'm falling in love with Atmosphere all over again.

Finals week has arrived and I am now done with my Intro to MIS class, Rhet 1101, and Digital Music I. It's pretty relieving.  I could have done better in all my classes I think, but honestly?  I'm glad I didn't study more cause then I would hate college and right now I'm kind of digging it.  I need the balance of school and a social life.  And pool.

Anyways...Hmm.  Interesting things are happening. Things I'm not sure how I feel about.  I'm kind of torn between two of my own philosophies that are kind of contradictory (and by kind of I mean they are entirely contradictory) but both appeal to me.  I just hope everything turns out good.  Or fantastic, y'know...whichever one is fine.



Oh.  I am addicted.

Shaken Not Störd

I'm hoooome!!! After a very successful road trip to College Station to visit a friend who goes to Texas A&M, I am finally back where I belong.  Lots of fun was had, but home is where the heart is, and right now my heart is with Team Diversity, the coolest kids around.

The first thing I did when I got back was basically play pool.  I think I've become addicted, truth be told.  There's something about the game that is just so...amazing.  And I'm getting so much better.  I'm learning how to bank it now and eventually I'll be able to spin the ball and then jump it.  Fun stuff.

But this week is also finals week (even though I only have 2 finals this week and neither of them are really legit finals...) so I'll have to study.  Right now I'm working on a paper for my rhetoric class and tomorrow I'll be done with that class! Yaaay!  I'm already done with MIS forever, and on Friday I'll be done with Digital Music I.  That leaves Chemistry, Precalculus and American History for next week.  Three hard exams in two days.  Excellent.

No Turn Unstoned

Ärligt talat?  Jag vill röka igen.  Fast inte cigaretter.  Eller jo, jag gillar cigaretter (ja ja jag vet de är dåligt för mig men nu är det liksom ingen hemlighet att jag röker ibland...) och jag gillar att röka cigarillo och vattenpipa men jag vill röka lite mj igen.  Den första gången var så länge sen och jag hade kul och jag blev så...avslappnad.  Typ mer än jag har varit i flera månader.  Jag sov så jävligt bra den natten och kände otroligt bättre överhuvudtaget nästa morgonen.

Hmm.

I alla fall hade jag kul utan någonting ikväll.  Jag kan ju ha kul utan droger eller alkohol, problemet är att jag tycker att det är kulare med åtminstone en av dem.  Och bara att förklara, jag är inget knarkare eller nåt...Jag har bara rökt det en gång och jag har inte pengarna att köpa regelbundet (och jag vill inte göra det heller).  Jag träffade några gamla vänner från innan Sverige som jag har inte sett i jätte länge.  Vi åt, vi skrattade, men jag insåg att jag är med mina nya vänner så ofta att jag har inget i gemensamt med mina gamla vänner längre.  Vi kan softa med varandra men vi kommer inte att ringa varandra varje vecka.

Istället ringde jag till min nya vän därför han hade lite problem och jag snackade men honom ett tag...Det är hemskt att jag kan inte gå 4 dagar utan att prata med de här killarna.  Vi sms:ade igår och idag och har planer för Söndag (N64 och disneyfilmer haha)...Det här är inte sustainable.  Jag kan inte vara med dem hela tiden. Jag måste få balans.  Men jag pluggar med dem, spelar billiard med dem, äter med dem, och bara chillar med dem. Varenda dag.  I minst 2 veckor. Eller kanske är det 3 nu?


Interesting...

En av många bilderna från ikväll:

Happy Thanksgiving

What a wonderful couple of weeks I'm having (in hindsight..)
Especially the past few days.  Tuesday I had a mini Thanksgiving dinner with some friends that was surprisingly very...homey? It was awesome, either way.  Then I was off to class for a group presentation that is FINALLY over :D

Afterwards I met up with the usual gang and we went to go see the new Harry Potter film.  It was pretty good.  I dont know... I think I've grown out of the Harry Potter phase... Which makes me kind of sad actually.  But I'm just not as excited as I used to be for the films.  I'm even okay with waiting for part 2...
After the movie we went back to my neighbors and drank hot chocolate and watched Adult Swim :) Mysig kväll kan jag säga..

Wednesday I actually ended up at my neighbors again watching cartoons.  He came home and there were like 6 of us (only 2 who actually lived there) just sitting around his living room watching Planet Sheen (HILARIOUS by the way) and laughing like little kids.

Today is THANKSGIVING and as such, I feel it's necessary to say what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for the past 12 months in general.  I've lived, loved, and laughed hard and loud.  It's been amazing thanks to all my friends and all my family.  I don't have a single regret this year.  I get temporary regrets, but in the end, I'm so happy with my choices.  I love being here for Thanksgiving, I love the fact that I got to graduate in Sweden with some of the most amazing people I will probably ever get the chance to meet.  And I'm thankful for new additions to my life, especially those on campus (and of course Nike).  And I am most definitely thankful that this semester is ending soon ;)

Happy Thanksgiving you guys.

Tomorrow the race begins.  Black Friday, y'all.

Do The Jane Fonda

Hm.  Det blir liksom det finns mindre och mindre att säga.  Men jag har kul, visst är det allt som spelar roll?
Pluggar jättemycket, fast det är fortfarande jättemycket jag hinner inte med eftersom jag vill ha ett liv...?
Har några nya vänner som betyder ganska mycket för mig nu.


Homecoming var igår.  Basketboll matchen var ganska kul fast inga av mina rumkamrater gillar idrott så jag gick ensam men träffade några kompisar där och hade kul.  Sen sov jag och när jag gick att kolla på homecoming dansen var det ganska tråkigt och jag kände inte för det.  Så jag gick till min granne och spelade lite Halo: Reach.  Hemskt kul spel.  Halo och Call of Duty är mina nya favoriter hahaha.  Oj oj oj, jag hänger med för många killar nuförtiden...

Idags planer består av att handla med min syster och pappa (medans min syster visar en bil som de kanske ska köpa åt henne) och sen ska jag softa med några vänner.

Vi ses snart?

It's Hard to Blog

when you don't even have time to watch tv anymore.

Between hanging out with people, working on school, putting up with migraines, trying to get better at pool, and communicating with people who don't go here, I just don't have time really.

Nothing is Something Worth Doing

I love expanding my music library more than anything in the world.
I don't need people, I don't need food.  All I need is a really comfortable bed to lie in while I listen to countless hours of music.

I added almost 4 GB to my library yesterday and I'm still planning on getting about 1 GB more in the next week sometime.  It depends on if I can actually get it though...

Ibland är jag lite besviken med hur allt slutar.  Men så är livet, inte mer att göra.  Kemi, skolan överhuvudtaget, rumskamrater, vänner, körkortet, musikskrivningen, rökningen, sovschema, arbetslös, billös, pengalös, men så länge jag har musiken och åtminstone några stycken underbara vänner, då kan jag fortsätta.

Bara några veckor kvar i terminen.

Ja, ja...Nu ska jag gå o äta frukost.

Night By Night

Just a few pictures from parts of my weekend.

Oh Fuck It, I'm Gonna Have A Party

I had lots of party plans this weekend but everything fell through. But I had fun nevertheless. Friday I was supposed to go to a SMU frat party, but I ended up going home instead to see my family since it was my brothers birthday the next day.  Saturday I was supposed to go see Basshunter at the Lizard Lounge but shit came up so I ended up hanging out with some other kids and studying chemistry.  Sunday included a trip to Chili's for dinner and then more studying/hanging out.

But oh man, Saturday something happened.  Basically, Aivy and Cathryn are JERKS and while I was away they got bored and decided to move my bed out to the balcony. (pictures coming soon)

And even better, I had to move it back in and make my own bed after they messed it all up. But it was worth the laughs/tears.

Tomorrow is my chem test! :O study time!

Blaaaargh

Nu är jag astrött.  Helt utmattad, seriöst.  Igår såg jag Jackass 3D.  Awesome does not cover it.  Så himla bra!  Jag skrattade ihjäl mig.  Ibland var filmen jääävligt sjuk, men awesome var den iaf..

Efter blev det minifest hos min granne.  När jag säger minifest menar jag bara att det var fem av oss som bara chillade tillsammans.  Men sen gick alla hem förutom en av mina grannar och mig så vi gick till den andra elevboende grejen (haha vet inte riktigt vad det skulle heta på svenska..) och träffade en till och bara satt och pluggade.  Tills kl 05.00 då vi får och handlade små random saker vi behövde.  Alltså Eggos, Wheat Thins, och batterier haha.

"Festen" fortsatt hos min granne igen och vi bara pluggade och lyssnade till musik.  Det var jätteskönt och jag gjorde saker som jag behövde göra.  Men jag kom hem kl 06.20 så jag var och fortfarande är såååå trött.  Jag sov bara 3 timmars, men så är collegelivet nu haha.  Vad kan man göra?

Plans

Every time I make plans, like legit plans involving a lot of people, things go wrong.
People drop out, can't make it, or other things come up.

Every time I do things spontaneously,  I end up having the time of my life, being surrounded by enjoyable company.

All the adults in my life tell me I need to plan better, but I honestly get nowhere when I plan.

Take tonight.  Aivy and I planned that we were going to go to Martini Village for the Halloween party.  Plans came up with Melody and we ended up having a lot of fun with her instead up until around 23.15 when we finally left for the club.  When we got there, there was no one else there.  The dancefloor had like 10 people on it and even the go-go dancers looked bored.  It sucked even more cause the music was actually really good, it was just a slow night...

So I ended up texting another friend and so we came back to campus and ended up with a whole new group of people having a good time.

That's how life should be, I feel.  Being spontaneous leads to experiences that can never be replaced by good ol fashioned planning.  I don't want to live life according to my calendar...


Good night.


Happy Halloween :)

Fun fun fun

Jag älskar att ha vänner som faktiskt är intresserad av sakerna som jag är intresserad av.
Som gör saker som jag gör.
Som bryr sig om saker jag bryr mig om och tvärtom.
Folk som inte oroar sig över reglar och sånt.  Som vill bara leva livet.

Jag har träffat några stycken som kanske kan bli jättebra vänner medans jag är här...Och jag vill inte tappa dem.

Livet är ju fantastiskt om man bara lär sig att njuta av det som man älskar, ignorera det som man inte gillar, och ibland riskera allt för att allting just nu är bara en lite lite bit av hela livet.


Stay thirsty, my friends.

This is the life

Yesterday I did it.  I changed my major!  I am now a marketing major with a minor in music! I'm so happy because I now have the option of staying here for the next three years with my full ride, therefore saving me soooo much money compared to if I transferred...

Today has been a pretty good day.  It feels like I'm happy all the time, even when I get really depressed for a few days time.  As if the happy days make all the sad days just melt away, which is something that makes me really...well, happy.  I don't want to hate life, I want to enjoy every second.

So what's going on in my life now?  Well, still all the same.  Hanging out with people all the time, trying to be productive in my classes, intramural sports (but i missed the volleyball game tonight because of something pretty important that I had to do), the occasional utgång and the occasional visit home.

Today I got a text during my math class saying that my family was going to go visit a family friend who is in town for about a week.  So I jumped on that and got picked up.  We ate cake, drank mimosas, and had a great time.  We even set up a giant fire in their backyard and played soccer on the lawn.  We talked, we laughed, and we cried at the Rangers' loss to the Giants in Game 1 of the World Series.  (BUT the Mavs won, so there was a silver lining).  After getting home, I chilled with some super cool kids and played pool :)

Now it is 2am and I have a bit of reading to do before my head hits my pillow.  So goodnight all, or good morning to some of you...

Love and miss you all :)

Nu Sticker Jag

I'm just going to take a quick nap since I'm dead tired and then I'm off to my advisor to switch my major to Marketing with a minor in Music.  Sounds good, no?

Sigh...I'll probably end up doing all four years here in Dallas because of money.  I hate money sometimes.  I wish I could take opportunities and stuff, but I refuse to live in debt for the rest of my life.  Basically I need to start saving money so I can pay for graduate school should I choose to go...

But marketing, yeah? Music marketing would be so cool it hurts a bit.  And with a major in general marketing, I could get a job pretty much anywhere that advertises.  As in, anywhere.  As long as there were jobs, that is.

I'm confused about some stuff but I think I'm going to be okay...

I'm Not Alone!

Wow.  I met another Swedish kid on campus today.  My day was made.  Han pratade till o med på svenska med mig en stund.  Eller, det var bara att säga "blah blah blah kommer ifrån stockholm" men kul var det iaf.
I actually had a decent day.  Which was greatly appreciated.  Even when I was retarded and totally forgot that I had my PLTL session until Michelle texted me 30 minutes after I should have started to ask if I was supposed to go or not.  Goddamn I'm dumb sometimes.

I've figured out which classes to take in the spring, which is also fun...

Men hallå.  Jag har ett problem.
Folk kommer och går från mitt liv hela tiden, som de bör göra...fast mycket snabbare.
Jag träffar någon och vi blir vänner inom två dagar och sen blir det inget mer av det efter en vecka eller två.  De bara försvinner.

Ibland förstår jag varför de försvinner, men ibland fattar jag absolut inget.
Är det för att de inte gillar mig?  Nej, det är jag ganska säkert att det inte är så.  Inte för att jag är en narcissist men därför de pratar med mig, ringer mig och knackar på mitt dörr.  Och vi har kul och allt, och sen...ja, vad ska jag säga?  Det slutar.  Helt plötsligt.  Varför?

Men det är inte bara att de försvinner, det är så att de kommer så snabbt också.  Efter att ha bara träffats en eller två gånger känner det som att vi är faktiskt bra vänner.  Liksom vi kan prata om seriösa saker fastän vi inte känner varann så mycket...

Jag vet inte.  Men när jag träffar folk som jag gillar, jag vill att de ska stanna i mitt liv...

Jackass

Came back a bit ago from a quick run out to Steak and Shake with some friends and then an impromptu movie night (Jackass 2).  It dawned on me and Alexis that we hadn't seen the 2nd film and we were dying to see the third.  So a couple of us watched it at her house.  Half of it anyways.

Oh man, is it disturbing.  But I love it ;)

My plans to see the third one were kind of messed up on Saturday but it led to hanging out with some super cool kids instead so I had fun anyways.  I need better weekends right now after being sick for so long and just rotting in the apartment.

But this weekend is Halloween weekend, so there is probably fun to be had.  As in, we're going out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and of course Sunday there will be something (HALLOWEEN EVE). Excitement!  Too bad I have class at 08.30 on Monday mornings...

Love

HELL YES

I seriously love sports sometimes.  Most of the time.  All the time really.
There's just so many emotions that go in it, so much passion, so much dedication.  Blood, sweat, tears, and when you finally reach that victory, it's just such a strong feeling of pure ecstasy...

So you can imagine how thrilled I am that the TEXAS RANGERS won game 6 against the NEW YORK YANKEES and are now going to the WORLD FREAKING SERIES.

I'm soooo so so happy.  Even though I'm not the world's biggest baseball fan, I like it enough to actually care and appreciate their hard work :)

Have a Cigar

I don't think it's healthy how much I love Pink Floyd...Or what am I talking about, of course it's healthy.  It should be the preferred lifestyle of everyone in the world.

Anyways.  My blog posts have been pretty boring recently.  So let's liven it up!

Today is my sisters 21st birthday, super excited for her :)  So we're going to a mexican restaurant for dinner where she'll probably have a margarita or something haha.  It's exciting but at the same time, we were allowed to do this when we lived in Sweden so it doesn't have quite the same excitement since we've been through this before..

Now Tyler and Michelle are watching Trainspotters in my living room.  It's interesting so far but I'm leaving soon so I won't be able to watch it :/

We'll see.  Let's see if I can get something interesting on here before the weekends over..

Forget What You're Told

Never have I ever had so many secrets of my own.

I'm meeting people, people I really like and want to get to know but I don't really know how to proceed.
I'm a friend-whore it's been discovered.
I love meeting new people, I love making new friends.
But I'm not super close with anyone yet.  I haven't found my BFF, y'know?
I know people, I'm super close to lots of people, but I wouldn't call anyone here at 3am just because I can't sleep and something is on my mind and I'm hurting.

They say they'll be there for you, but I guess I just haven't seen that level of commitment on a friend level from anyone.

Everyone is backing away once I do something they don't agree with.

I don't judge you, why do you get to judge me?
I didn't judge when you ruined other peoples' lives, when you ruined your own life, when you did and said things that most people wouldn't ever let their friends say to them.  Because I understood that there's always a reason.  But one thing I'm having trouble understanding is why I'm not allowed to make what you call mistakes.  Why I can't enjoy life to the fullest even if that involves doing things that aren't what you consider right.

I stand by my actions.  I regret nothing.  Every decision I make takes me to the next step and thats all that matters.  Why waste so much time wondering if youre ready for something?  Just do it.  Life is too short to bother anymore, I've discovered.  Especially since I'll probably die young.  I'm convinced itll happen and I don't know why...

Ughhhhh.
I'm getting carried away.

Sick

And not really enjoying it.
Yesterday and today have been surprisingly productive.  I ended up at a neighbors apartment for a couple of hours to study for the chemistry exam both days and I actually think I might have gotten somewhere.  It should be better than last time at least...I hope.

I've made a new goal for myself.  Things have gotten static again so I need to mix things up.  I've already mixed a couple of things up but it doesn't feel like enough.  I don't feel satisfied with my life right now.  So I'm going to rearrange my room to hold me off for another couple of days and then I'm going to have to do something.  I'm not sure what yet, but it has to be something.

Oh but back to the point, my goal: I'm going to get into shape with school, it's gotten to the point where it's not even funny how much I put off.  Starting the second I post this I'm going to be in school mode.  I'm going to fix my life so I can get to where I want to be.

Which means I'm going to email my advisor tomorrow and request to switch my major. Oh damn.
And then I'm going to do research this week on what schools I'm going to apply for transfer.  Or maybe I'll stay here.  But either way, I need to explore options at least.

So here goes.
Skål till mitt nytt liv?

Inte ett ord

Ibland är det skönt att ha sina egna hemligheter.

Grime

I've recently discovered an artist by the name of Tinie Tempah that I adore because of his catchy hooks and silly (yet surprisingly clever) lyrics.  In my cry for even more music, I was told to listen to an artist named Tinchy Stryder.  I pretty much fell in love.  He's similar to Tinie Tempah and so I began to dig into it.  Which led me to discover that they are part of a genre called Grime which originated in East London in the early 2000's.  Pretty much, it's amazing.  Check these out:

You're Not Alone by Tinchy Stryder



Game Over by Tinchy Stryder featuring Tinie Tempah



Written in the Stars by Tinie Tempah



Cross My Heart by Skepta featuring Preeya Kalidas



Green Light by Roll Deep



Number 1 by Tinchy Stryder featuring N-Dubz




Just a glimpse at what I'm listening to right now ;)

It is October, after all.

Got pranked sooo bad yesterday.  It was awful.

Asså, min granne kom och knackade på dörren och han hade blöd över händerna och han och sin kompis ba "VI BEHÖVER DIN HJÄLP. KOM NU." så jag sprang och vi kom in och gick till badrummet där en tjej som jag känner la i badkaret och blödde. Det var asläskigt.  Det fanns en blodigt kniv i diskbänken (?) och jag försökte lugna alla ner och sen började alla skratta.  Alla förutom jag och aivy.  Vi fattade ingenting...Asså det var skitläskigt och sen skitkul efter vi fattade.

Men ja ja, så är det i oktober haha.

Anyways.  Och idag!  Shiiit, vi hade fotbollsträning (amerikansk flag fotboll?) och bara typ 5 kom så vi bara kastade bollen till varandra för en stund.  Och sen bestämde våran granne att klättra up TRE VÅNINGAR över allas balkong och gå in i en annan grannes lägenhet.  det var så himla kul, jag dog.  och sen klättrade han ner efter allting.  skitkul no lie.  sen började vi kasta bollen igen haha.

Få se...vad tänker jag på nu?

ATT JAG SAKNAR ALLA MINA BÄSTISAR I LILLA UMEÅ.

Loooove you guys :)

So Cold...

I have just showered after a very unproductive yet busy day.  It started with a History exam, followed by a chem lab, followed by a business exam, then dinner, a game of flag football (which we won, hells yeah), and then rushing out the door to go to a foam party.

Yes yes, we went to a foam party.  It was fun, but lets just say that I picked up a couple of stories that I wouldn't share with just anyone...

And while standing outside the club waiting for a cab, soaking wet, that cold front that I was so excited about decided to really rub itself in my face.  By blowing cold wind.  While I'm wearing shorts and a tank top and am dreeeenched.

And now my phone got soaked so we'll see if it functions entirely in the morning...



Poor decisions were made tonight.  I have homework due at 08.00am (5 hours), a class at 08.30, and another exam at 14.30...

But tonight was totally worth it.  This is what college should be about, am I right?

OH.  And Eminem & Lil Wayne's video for "No Love" premiered tonight :)



Now I'm off to finish homework, study, and sleep...I have to be up in 4 1/2 hours? WISH ME LUCK.

Written in the stars

School is kicking my ass.
The weather has been almost perfect, just a little bit warm still but the cold front is soooo nice.
Which makes the flag football game tonight something to really look forward to.
I can't believe October is tomorrow.
Remember thinking "oh shit! its 2010!?"


I love new music.
And new old music.
And just old music.
Basically, music.

But this caught my attention recently:




Oh, and I'm going to see Basshunter live in November. HAAAAH.  I'm not his biggest fan, but I think it could be fun :)

Grattis

Till min kära mamma som fyller år idag :)

Vi har sjungit och hon har fått presenter av oss, och om en timme har vi reservationer för brunch på Blue Mesa (tydligen är de #5 i hela USA med brunch)

Det här är den i Las Vegas, men ja ja skitsamma.

Senare idag är det flag football practice och sen ska vi se :)

When Sober Girls Around Me They Be Actin Like They Drunk

It's hard to update these days.

A glimpse at the cleaning supplies used in attempts to take off the expo marker two weeks ago...

These kids are sitting in my room creepin on people outside ;)

<3 Beards hahahaha

We went to hayleys and the boys crashed :P

I'm still not sure if I can make it in university, but things are going better than they were a few weeks ago...

I'm watching the last episode of True Blood now.  Yes yes I know, I'm extremely late, but i'm finally watching it now...

I'm going home tonight for the weekend.  It's my mommys birthday on Sunday :) So yaaay.

Flag football was a bust but I get a bit more of the rules so hopefully it'll go better next week...

Not much else to say, really.

I Hate How Unfair Life Is Sometimes

Not because it's unfair to me, but to the people I love.
I can handle it being unfair to me.  That's the way it is, I can make it through.  But watching other people suffer so much because of the goddamn cards they were dealt is just...it tears me up inside.
And no matter how much I want to help, I can't in this case.  By helping one person, I'd be making things really hard for another and it's not my place to do that.

How can I work this out?

You've Left Me Speechless

But this time it's in a good way.
I can't even really wrap my head around it.
Last week I read an entire history book in an hour at 01.00 in the morning before my quiz over it at 08.30.  I felt that I passed and today my teacher said that he would pass them around and he would also read a quiz that was as close to perfection as it could get and we could compare ours to it to kind of see what expectations to have.

He read my essay out loud.  I got a FUCKING A+ in HISTORY.  HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?  I'm sooooo happppyy <3 <3 <3

But now its a question of my chem exam tonight.  I had my quiz yesterday and it was awful.  like, beyond awful.  I made a 33% on my quiz but a 93% on my prequiz so now im making a 63% in that class.  Apparently that is exactly the class average...But I'm going to study today to make sure my exam goes well so I can boost my grade.



Yesterday I felt like I would have to drop out of college cause I can't do it.
I've let myself go this past weekend, hanging out with an old friend every day and neglecting school stuff.  but i got it done and now i just need to focus on working a little bit more ahead of schedule and not at the last second.
but im having fun.  thursday i was out until 4am, friday i got back around 1am, saturday my friends were over until like 2am and last night i got home at like 1.30am.  its not too good for my sleeping patterns but I still manage to get up in the morning and go to class!!  but im going to burn myself out really fast this way so im taking a break tonight, going to go to sleep early (like 21.00 hahaha) and relax so I can get back on track and hang out with the same people again on wednesday :)

Aww

Jag älskar att få umgås med gamla vänner.
Idag var det en kompis från läääänge sedan.  vi var goda vänner i högstadiet och när jag var på mitt gammalt gymnasiet men vi tappade kontakt när jag flyttade därifrån.

Han smsade idag och vi bestämde att chilla och det var så himla värt.  Jag saknar honom så mycket.  Jag fattar inte att så mycket tid har bara gått förbi.. Jag ville inte att han skulle fara även när han o sin kompis var här i nästan 8 timmar.  Och nu är jag ledsen eftersom han inte är här :(  Haha han visade mig många raver saker (han är alltså stort på det) och nu är jag ganska intresserad att lära mig...

Men det är ju för sig.  Kolla:



Men jag är lite glad att vi inte pratade ett par år för att nu när vi sågs var det that much sweeter liksom :P



Jag vill hitta andra av mina gamla vänner...

You're Breaking the Girl

Fun stuff is happening.
Toy Story 3 for one.
House starts on Monday.  So I'll be in the Pub with (hopefully) a bunch of other people who also love the series ;)


But crap is also happening.
Like homework that is really starting to pile up cause I don't know how to study.
Projects to work on, tests to take.


Haha.
I missed Radiohead and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
It's always nice returning to music you haven't heard in a while.

Oh the weather outside is frightful

Today's weather took a turn.  It rained all day.  No, correction, it POURED all day.  There were a few hours with just a bit of drizzle, but mostly it was pouring so I was drenched walking to classes.  But I made it through and even managed to work on some homework and get organized a bit.

We decided to eat an early dinner with Alexis and went and sat and ate, etc etc when suddenly Cathryn was like "Can we go?"  Usually she's the last to finish eating but now she seemed really nervous so we were like "yeah, of course...whats the rush?" she responded that a storm was coming and crazy weather really freaks her out.

So we left and walked home and turned on the news when we got there.  You can imagine the silence in our apartment as the news anchors told us that tornadoes had touched down close to us and were heading directly for us.  We prepared ourselves and kept the news on, our eyes glued to the screen for about an hour straight.  Phonecalls home and to friends were made to ensure that people were off the roads and in safe places.  At about 19.00 the real danger was over and we relaxed.  The giant cloud that had produced the tornadoes had passed over us without extending a funnel of wind, so we were lucky.


I had forgotten that Dallas was in tornado alley.
I had forgotten that I would have to deal with the tropical storm weather that comes in from the gulf of mexico.
I had forgotten all those times that me and my siblings were sent to the bathrooms with a blanket and a pillow and all our important documents in hand in the case that we would be blown away.

Oh and Jennie.  About that thing we discussed.  Det blev inget.  Jag var besviken att börja med, men nu har jag kanske nånting nytt som jag måste berätta om ;)

We Never Lost Control

You're face to face with the man who sold the world...


I'm considering switching my major to EMAC.  Which is interesting.  I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore.  All I know is that I need to get out of Chemistry before I get stuck with certain classes and etc etc.  I just need to get out.  I want to be in Dallas but I'm not sure I want to be at UTD anymore.

But I have a full ride here.  Maybe I should suck it up and work here?  Four years?  I doubt I can handle that.

Vet du vad jag hatar? När människor gör så att allting verkar att vara en grej men sen plötsligt glömmer bort allting.  Det är ööööver nu.  Och det började inte ens.  Tråkigt.  Men jag bryr mig inte så mycket, jag är mer liksom irriterad att ingen säger nåt.  Vet inte vad jag ska göra med det här, helt enkelt.

Vill återvända till Sverige men jag vet inte hur jag ska göra.  Jag tror att jag ska försöka hitta jobb någonstans i Sverige till nästa sommar och om jag hittar någonting som kan bli permanent på ett ställe, kanske då stannar jag?

Orkar fan inte med det h?r...lektionen ?r tr?kig och l?raren ?r s? himla seg :( fattar inte varf?r man m?ste sitta i en timme och bara lyssna till honom...

Another weekend, come and gone

Basically, at around midnight last night, with 3 chapters of my book left, I decided to clean my room.  I couldn't study with it for some reason.  Messes don't bother me (in my room at least) but last night it did.  So I cleaned.  And then I sat down and read the rest of the book in about an hour.  I'd like to point out that I do better under stress.  People say "don't cram the night before, you retain less" but I seem to retain more? I don't know...either way, the quiz went well I think.  Not perfect, but well.

Yesterday I went with Hayley during the day and we painted a store run by a domestic violence shelter.  It was pretty fun.  I like home improvement projects like this.  Painting walls, fixing shelves, la la la, etc.  It made me wonder if I want to do that as a career.  HAHAHA yeah no let's give up chemical engineering and managing artists to paint houses.  I'm so confused as to what I want to do.  LAAAAAA

Anywho.

Michelle and Cathryn being creepers before I left on Friday

Pretty on Friday (home)

I <3 Nike

Paaaainting

Insanely small dog we ran into outside our yard...

gross pink paint + soap

Cleaning them was a bitch

And that's all I ahve for you at the moment.

MSN later?

I'm sad. And i can't tell you why. But it's killing me cause i just don't know what you want from me. Give me some form of sign...ugh. I have to study now.

I watched you change

For those that didn't know, I'm currently practicing driving and trying to get my license.
Well, today I got to practice some more.  I've previously gone around the neighborhood, sometimes to the park and once to Aivy's house.  But today I went down a big road (not a highway, but a main road) and it went well.  So I'm really happy :)

But now I'm home and after an hour of working in the yard with my dad it's back to the studying and homework.  I have to finish reading my book, take notes, and write my five page essay (its okay though, its double spaced and not that difficult to write).

I'm pretty amazed at how much music I'm finding from this playlist.  Some of it isn't my thing, about half I already own, but then some of it is like...wow I love this or whoaa I did not know it was by them etc etc.
So that's pretty cool.


Well, I'm out.
Later.

Lifetime of Scrutiny

Hatar skolan.  Eller, inte precis, men typ.
Hatar lektioner.  Förutom en och även den är lite konstig...
MEN.  Jag gillar ju människorna som går här.  Som pratar med mig eller tvärtom.
Det finns typ en tjej som jag hatar och det är bara en kul historia (haha).

Men jag vet inte.  Vet inte om jag passar in på universitetet.  Men jag vet inte om jag skulle pass in nån annanstans...Vill bara leva den fria livet, y'know?

Men så är det bara inte.  Så jag pluggar nu till ett prov på tisdag och jag har skitmånga saker att läsa eftersom jag inte kan fokusera på lektionerna...Och jag är förvirrad över vad som händer med vissa saker eftersom nåra säger att det är någonting men det inte verkar så till mig och om inget händer då ska jag börja tappa intresse.

Avslutningsvis (hah) är det här min lilla whining post.  jag vill bara klaga lite innan jag måste suck it up och bara fortsätta.

On a brighter note, found a song on a playlist I got from somebody that I have been in love with FOREVER and have never found cause I could never to remember to look for it.  Either way, found it and I love it, can't stop listening to it.  AND I found out that Bad Religion will be releasing a new album September 28th.  Super exciting :)

Change - Deftones

I'm Having A Bad Day

And could really use you right now.


Things are going fine but it's just one of those days
when the sun shining only gives you limited happiness
And the cool breeze doesn't quite satisfy you
And the people around you are too busy with their own shit
To think about yours, and you can't even pretend
to be able to think about theirs right now.


Things are going fine but I could really just use you right now.




Önskar att jag var i Sverige precis nu och att jag inte måste tänka på massor av dumsaker...
Att jag var på Haga och skulle ut till Pipe's nu med alla mina vänner och supa ner mig eftersom det varit en dum vecka med dumma människor och goa människor som bara försvann.

HAHAHAHAHA

Asså, livet är ju jättekonstigt ibland.  jättekonstigt.  De senaste dagarna har bara varit...förvirrande och kula och lite tråkiga men oftast bara...ja, konstiga.

Kanske borde jag börja från början? HAH, eller inte.

Men lite bakgrund ska ni få iaf.  Jag har träffat några stycken som jag tycker är hemsk kul.  Jag vet inte vad ska hända med allt det här men nu är det bara att ta det one day at a time, liksom.  I fredags gick jag till musik labben och jobbade på min låt.  I lördags åkte jag till Trinity River och var volontär och jobbade där ett part timmar.  Det var kul men jag tror jag är lite sjuk eftersom jag kom hem och sov och var bara otrevlig.

Men sen fick jag en sms att jag skulle få lite musik av någon så jag fick ta lite medicine och bli trevlig.  Efter jag fått musiken gick vi alltisammans med alla som bor i mitt hus och åt middag.  Efter detta gick vi och var på Convocation (ganska tråkigt men jag hade bra sällskap) och sen the carnival.  men det var hemskt så då får vi till en vattenpipa lounge.  JA JENNIE, nu har jag rökt vattenpipa och det var otroligt gott.  Nu måste jag bara jobba på rökringar eller vad det nu heter.

Så himla kul, men resten får jag berätta lite mer själv face-to-face ;)

Looooove,
Äffish


P.S.  Saknar mina tjejer :( hoppas att ni har det bra vart än ni är

Faaaan!

Allting gick så bra.  Jag kollade men det var inga stora blah blah blah.  Allt var okej.
Men sen sa min kompis EN SAK och jag började tänka och plötsligt är det en grej??
NEEEEJ.  JAG ORKAR FAN INTE.
Jag vill kolla runt utan att måste tänka på sådana saker.  jag vill inte tänka på någon hela tiden.  och jag vill fan inte undra om någon tänker på mig.  pallar helt seriöst inte.

jag gillar att lyssna till andra om dera små vad det ska nu heta.  men jag vill inte ha det själv just nu.  det finns bara för jävligt mycket att tänka på redan.  nu kommer det gå overboard, liksom.  och det här är helt fel, kanske.  jag vet fan inte.  FAN FAN FAN!!

Usch.  Nu måste jag börja lugna ner mig.  Det här går inte.  Får se hur det blir.  Jävlar...

SHIT.

Oversimplification

Sometimes, it's a good thing.  Like today.  Everything just feels like it can just happen instead of me thinking about things.  Sometimes I overanalyze, sometimes I oversimplify.  The latter is what is in effect right now.  Life seems...well, not as complicated as it usually does.

It's nice to be on campus and go to university and blah blah blah.  It's really a good feeling.  But I find myself thinking about Sweden a lot and how much I wish I was still there.  So I've decided that I have to go back.  When I would go back is still undecided, but the decision is simple.  And as for my major...Well, chemistry isn't as exciting as I thought it would be.  In fact, I'm so bored during that class that it's usually when I find myself daydreaming.

So again, simple.  Chemistry is not for me.  I thought it was, but it isn't.  I could care less about Rutherford or Dalton or the structure of the atom.  I think it's cool, but more as a hobby than a profession.

Next on the list to try it music production/artist management.  And after that...Hotels?  I would love to run a hotel...Hm.


Speaking of simple, I donned a simple outfit today as well, with just my Gina Tricot denim shirt and jeans and an old bag from many years ago that is the perfect size for carrying my books/papers, wallet, and keys :)

A New Obsession

Basically, I have two new obsessions.


1. Machine Gun Kelly - A super amazing rapper from Cleveland, this skinny white boy uses sampling and writes really wicked rhymes.

2. Racquetball - I haven't played a sport in a long while now, unless you count the short-lived stints with Innebandy and training soccer with Umeå IK.  Other than that, the last time I played a sport was before I moved to Sweden, in 10th grade.  And then it was soccer, so I had been doing it for like...a gajillion years. But either way, I've found this new sport that just really makes me happy cause it's so fun!  Everyone should play.

Other than that, not much to say.  I took a personality test as part of my Rhet 1101 class and my test results were scarily precise.  I got ENFP.  Some characteristics:
- They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things (I get waaaay too excited about things)
- ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents (idk if i would call it a talent/skill, but i am definitely interested in EVERYTHING)
- An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals (this has been my main issue for the past like 10 years)
- They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships (i am interested in people...sometimes from a distance though)
- They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled.
- They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

We Didn't Start The Fire

It was always burning, since the worlds been turning


Thursday night I went with some friends to the Koto Japanese Asian Fusion bar/lounge and ate mango ice cream.  Haha.  But it was mostly vietnamese people.  Speaking in vietnamese.  I ain't vietnamese and I definitely don't fit in with that crowd, so it was pretty awkward at times.

Friday night I went with the same friends out to the nightclub Plush in downtown.  It was alright.  We danced but it wasn't that many people there for some reason.  Saw a really hot guy, but he kept disappearing :/  We watched the fashion show and continued dancing until we got so fed up with it being slow and just left.

Today my dad picked me up and we went and fixed my bank and bought some textbooks so I can do homework that is due monday...  But yeah.  then I came back and was hanging out with my roommates and Brody (haha) and listening to music.  Cathryn brought back her acoustic/electric bass guitar so that was pretty cool.  We tried to jam but we don't play the same music.  She's into jazz and blues, I'm into classic rock...

Theres so much more but I don't feel like documenting every aspect of my life.  So goodnight, all.  I'll talk to you tomorrow maybe? ;)  Pictures later.

Artist of the Week Resumes!

This week is Machine Gun Kelly, a (kind of hot) (WHITE) rapper from Cleveland, OH.

I'm basically in love with this song, and the video makes me crack up cause I heard it in Aivy's car the first time and just assumed he was like...y'know...a big black man.  Not to be racist or anything, but generally white boys can't/don't/shouldn't rap.  But I really dig MGK... Way cooler than Asher Roth, tycker jag.

Chip Off The Block by Machine Gun Kelly

Going Greek

Yesterday I went to the Greek Barbeque at the pool.  There was a dj and all the sororities and fraternities were there to talk.  I was with some friends and so I went and talked to people while Aivy and Cathryn went into the pool.  After maybe an hour or two I turned around and saw Aivy and one of our neighbors trying to get people to dance on the ledges of the pool.  It was puurty funny.

But anyways, I kind of liked the idea of joining a sorority, even though this is a very new notion in my head.  I mean, I thought about it in the spring and thought it would be cool but then I just kind of forgot about it.  But now...I'm pretty sure I'll go through recruitment next week :)

Classes started today.  I went to my history class and it seems normal enough that I think that I could totally pay attention! Haha, which is a big deal for me cause the last two years of history have made it very difficult for me to focus...

Anyways, now I just have chem lab and intro to mgmt systems left for today and then I'm going with some friends to some lounge club thing to celebrate some strangers' birthdays.  And tomorrow one of ours turns 18 so we're hitting up a club :)  Has potential to be super cool!

First college outfit :)

haha in front of my stolen lady gaga poster...

Well, I guess it wasn't really stolen, the concert was over and it was getting rained on anyways...

Peace out.

What?

Hm.  I was just invited to join a fashion website called Lookville?  Apparently its legit, but I'm treading slowing.  Signed up...But I don't really know where to go from there.  It's like the yahoo!answers for fashion.  Apparently.

Maybe I should write more about fashion haha.

Effifo Strikes Again

Nothing like fruit parties on the balcony at 01.00am

crazy stuff..

Found all my classes today.  I'm set for tomorrow.  Now I just need to get my textbooks and some supplies.  I also set up my bank, so that's a relief.  Except I'm a dumbass and left my card at home and so I have to go back in to link my student ID with my account.  I wonder how well that works... Whatever.

Found a new artist.  I'm not sure how new he actually is, but I dig him.  Tinie Tempah (haha).  It's catchy anyways.

Oh Oh Overdrive

I really like that song.  Overdrive by Ola.  Oh wait, did I just say that I really like a song by Ola?
Yeaaah buddy.  I did.  But it's super catchy!

Anyways, I am now a proud owner of a learner's permit.  It was getting to the point where I thought I would never get to see the day.  Hmm, but here it is.  Even though I'm not smiling in my picture.  (Oh yeah!  Even permits have pictures now!  And cost more too!)  I actually look like I'm really peeved about something, like a bratty little kid, actually.

This weekend consisted of dinner at Lee's, which was great, and getting my permit.  I played with Nike a lot as well.  I do love me some Nike.

My henna tattoo is going away! :( noot coool.  But that is the circle of life, no?

Now I'm just gonna watch some True Blood and then go to sleep.  Important things to do!

1. Go to the student union and set up a bank account!
2. Apply for a job at Target :/  But maybe I can do that later?
3. Eventually buy some textbooks, at least the ones I know I need and can already find cheap.

Oh, maybe it's not that many things to do...

Oh well!

All Growed Up

And all moved in.

My room is done, our shared rooms are pretty much done (except for like...a couch).  Everything is happening super fast in the evenings and the days are just draawwn out cause its so hot and I want to walk to places, but its also super humid so mostly I just want to stay inside.

Yesterday consisted of packing the car, moving stuff to campus, eating lunch with my dad and brother, and moving things in.  We mingled with our friends, both those who live on campus and those attending different schools, and saw everybodys apartments.  We did groceries, squeezed in a home visit and then ate.  As it got later, we decided to go to something called "Dessert Night" but when we got there we realized that it was a church-group that was leading the night and that they wanted to "get to know us."  Basically, we heard "we want to convert you to our group."  So we got root beer floats and ditched.  Pretty fast too.  Hopefully we don't run into them again haha.  I almost felt bad, but then I got distracted.

Today was really random.  Bookstore, lounging about, pool party with free food, lounging about, dinner at the dining hall, playing catch with an orange, destroying the orange, lounging about, searching for an office all over campus only to find that it was closed, then Aivy and I went to hang out at someones place and ended up accidentally hanging out with neighbors.  It resulted in an ice cream run and internet!  So that's pretty cool in my book.

We were supposed to go to a meteor shower buut my ride got tired and didn't want to go so I was kind of left with no means of getting to the field where it would be visible... which sucked.


Ugh, I need to get a car.  But first, license. haha.  But I'll be one step closer this Saturday when I get my permit...


Blaaaaah, maybe I should sleep.

Arrrrrgghh

My brother and I went to the park just now with Nike.  We both had rollerblades on so that Nike could run and we could keep up.  I took Nike and my brother got bored or something and said "Oh, I'll go around.  I'll meet you on the other side" (Of the school)

Of course, Nike was attacking a small child at this moment, so I was like "whatever I gotta take care of this" and didn't see which direction he went.  I keep going and I go around the school and he's not there.  So I go back around to where I was originally and wait there for 5 minutes.  Then I go to a bench and sit down for 10 minutes and just watch out for my brother.  no trace.

So I get worried and I start praying that everything is okay and that he'll come around the corner at any second.  No luck.

I go around the park one more time and still nothing.  I'm so worried at this point, 20 minutes after he has disappeared, that I decide to call my moms phone (he usually takes it) to see if he answers and is at home or if not, then he'll tell me where he is.  If he doesn't answer, then I'll have to tell my mom that I lost him.

he answers.  hes at home.  he thought i went home so he left.  didn't even bother to call when he realized that i wasnt at home yet and probably had no idea where he was.

So.  As stated.

ARRRRRGGGGHHH

Call Me Dynamite

Texas has decided that I need to go to a class in order to get my drivers permit.  Ugh.  So I have to pay about a hundred dollars for that and then a bunch of random fees will probably show up.  ten bucks to get my eyes checked.  I'm reading off of a sign and they tell me what I can't see, how is that worth ten bucks?? It should be included.  Jesus Christ...

Ugh anyways.  I liked my outfit today.  And I found my bracelet from an oooold phase ;)

My closet looks HUGE in this picture!!  It's pretty big, but here it looks way bigger.

Yesterday's karaoke was hilarious.  Except for when we were there for like 40 minutes and were expected to pay as much as or more than people who had been there the entire time...The bill was like 37 dollars at the end, there were 17 people which equals like just over 2 dollars each.  For an hour and a half.  If we were there a third of the time, why should we pay for everyone else's time?  We barely even sang.  As in, we did once.  By force. It was fun, yes, but they wanted like 2-3 dollars from each of us (in our group of about 4-5people).  Umm, no thanks?

But our group took some pretty ridunk pictures as well.  With props and everything.  I got the viking hat because well, y'know... ;)

Wow, the most asian pictures eveeer.. <3

After that it was to IHOP where we had giggle attacks until we figured we should leave before we got too out of hand and went to Aivy's.  We were only there for like 40 minutes before we decided to go home though...

Overall, it was pretty cool.  Except for saying bye to Tori.  That was pretty depressing.  She's going to Alaaabaaaammma :'(  She's like one of the coolest people I know so that sucks pretty freaking hard.

Hmm...todays big plan is packing, tomorrow I move onto campus! :D