Guess Who's Back (YET again)

Home.  Feels good.
This is the abridged version cause I honestly just do not have the energy to recap whats been going on in life.

Maybe later when i'm feeling more taggad.

Right now I'm filling out forms for the housing at UTD and listening to Aerosmith :)
Ate corndogs for lunch and korean food for dinner last night.  Swam, picked up a job application, scheduled a doctors appointment, did some groceries, and I haven't even been here for 24 hours yet...

Sooo much left to do.

Janie's got a gun...<3

Dallas 2010

 

Days like these I wish I was home

and that I had money.

I would totally go and watch the games.

Or at least watch it on tv.

I'm feeling that depressing period coming back.  where youre just depressed for no reason.

daaamn.

okay, enviro now.

Glee!

All caught up on Glee now :D
Its amaaaazing!

Went to Fry's today hoping to be able to play DJ Hero but APPARENTLY they've taken it down some time in the past week or so.  That pissed me off :/

Afterwards Aivy and Alexis came over and we chilled.  Then we went to Miller park again and filmed things for our music video.
Haha, we looove making music videos.
This one is to Tik Tok by KeSha.  Exciiited.
So far its suuper funny.  But not done.
I'm counting this as CAS ;)

The Zoe-ster

Had a huge scare yesterday when Zoe got some form of indigestion.  Spent half the evening waiting for her to poop.  Constipation is one of the leading causes of death in rabbits.  Sounds awful but it's true and we love Zoe so much, we were genuinely concerned.

Woke up this morning (after a suuuper weird dream) to Jenny going "SHE POOPED!"
Probably one of my more relieved moments in life.

We've been relaxing lately.  Christmas was nice but now we've got to y'know...take it easy.  We cleaned the house a bit today and finished a puzzle that we received from my uncle i julklapp.  Then we went to Chili's.  Omg.  Soooo goood.  Chili's is definitely one of my top 3 favorite restaurants ever.  Unfortunately, they've redone their menu so my favorite meal (Cajun Chicken Alfredo with Fettucini) has been replaced with Cajun Pasta (with Penne).  Not as good.  I ended up getting the Country Fried Steak with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.  Looks exactly like this: (webphoto)

Super good ;)

That Was Christmas.

 

The day before Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

(First snow on Christmas Eve in Dallas ever recorded)

Haha me and my brother used toothpicks and mini-marshmellows over a candle

It was a miniature campfire :P

Omg I'm so grateful.  My family knows me too well.  3 CDs (all that I've been dying to buy but havent had the funds to do), a new battery for my laptop, new earphones, and gloves since the stupid cheap ones i bought in stockholm already broke.  The purse and clothes were from my mom :D

Haha and then 500:- for next summer when my sister comes to visit.

I think this was the most presents i've ever gotten for christmas :P

But as great as all of those were, I think the white christmas was the best gift of them all.

Of course, we do live in Texas so it was gone around 2pm the next day.  But just that it snowed was so amazing.

I hope everyone else had a fantastic christmas as well and hopefully New Year's Eve will be loads of fun as well ;)

I should start planning.  I'm really interested in going to the Big D NYE thing.

Suuuuper interested.

I mean, hockey, live music, food, fireworks.

That sounds pretty fan-freakin-tastic.

Being home has made me reconsider (yet again) where I'm going to be next year.  Laos, Kenya, Umeå, Dallas?

So This Is Christmas

Yesterday we went christmas food shopping and just relaxed.
After lunch my mom told us to go to the park so we shrugged and grabbed our bikes.  We went to the big park and brought some old bread to feed the ducks at the big duck pond/lake.  when we got there, there were asmycket seagulls.  They're funny.

Anyways, I wore a t-shirt and some sweats.  When we got there it was just...hot.  i mean i was almost sweating.  i had to roll up my pant legs.  so we fed the ducks and then biked around the creek before finally sitting on the swings.  so many children out cause the weather was so fantastic.  cute though.  then i just lay down in the huge field in the sun.  im gonna miss you mister sun.

So I come home and i feel the water in the backyard and then run to find a swimsuit to borrow.  Basically on the count of three (after 2 tries) i leaped into the 11 degree (C) pool.  I was in for a total of 2 seconds before i dragged myself out, almost screaming.  Coooold.  My dad decided to film me jumping in a second time on his new iPhone.  fun stuff.  then he took a picture of me and sent it to my grandparents.  Greeeat.

So that was all fun, but then this morning i wake up and its super cold.  SUPER cold.  in texan standards.  2 degrees.  and raining, but its so cold that its more like sleeting.  right now its still sleeting and we're making/fixing a pepparkakahus :P

Christmas Eve celebrations will start in a couple of hours.  right now we're about to start cooking.  and i gotta showerrr.

so i'll get back to you guys ;)

Oh my goodness

Everything at home has been so utterly amazing.

thursday i was out at the mall with some friends.

ive noticed shoes have become more and more colorful.

but im not complaining, i like them :)

the standard "take a picture of you on santas knee and we'll overcharge you for a copy to send to your friends and relatives" exhibit at collin creek mall

JENNIE LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT HOT TOPIC (its a store)

I WAS SO TEMPTED TO BUY IT.

but i think i can probably find a better one...

haha outside target after a fun walkaround.

pretty sky.

The party at Aivy's on friday was fun.  Lots of giggling but I kind of wore out around like 11pm.  But I stayed up to 2.30am nonetheless and then put up with Melody and Tori making fun of me in my sleep for another 2 hours and finally woke up to two having already left and a very hungry Aivy :P

We went to Wendy's for brunch and then I went home.  Went to the park with my brother and played soccer, football, and basketball for like 2 hours. does that count as action?  i think im going to count it anyways.

Oh my goodness.  I can count paintball for 4 hours on Sunday as well.  I love paintball.  I got bruises but it was so much fun.  Apparently theres a paintball course in Stocksjö or something that I've decided we must all go to in the spring/summer.  Fort Paintball is pretty neat.  We only played on the fields with the fort, barrels, and alien legos (I think thats what its called).  Haha i didnt get shot often but i would get shot like 4 times at once.  and then i got shot in the butt as we were walking past another field with different teams playing.  thanks guys.

Sunday night was a reunion of a very very old family friend who we havent seen in about 2 years.  great fun.

Monday was shopping and today was shopping.
Today was followed by a sudden phone call from Alexis asking to see Paranormal Activity.  Jesus its creepy.  It's not scary, just creepy.  Or...the end is fairly scary.  I'm not sure.  Hard to explain.  You have to see it.  It's definitely worth it :P  But then again, it was 75 cent Tuesday at the dollar theater so we payed like nothing to see it.  had some fun with the guys who worked at the counter :P ("um...what is the address of this establishment?" followed by them laughing and going to ask other people cause no one actually knew.)  had frozen granitas at Java & Cha and played Guess Who?

we then went to hayleys house where we proceeded to film our own version of paranormal activity, soon to be out on youtube :D haha we'll see how that goes.  its only like a couple of scenes but we were laughing soooo hard..

Christmas feelings :)

rocking around the christmas tree

the one to the far right is my stocking...

baking pepparkakor

Pepparkakor in the shape of longhorns and texas ;)

Roomies :)

Randomly felt an urge to mess with her hair today.

So we did.

Visst är hon sööt? :D

I've been to my uncles house today for his sambo's birthday.  It was amazing actually.
Riktiga MLIA ögonblickar.  :P
Typ när alla vid matbordet började sjunga låten från Dallas tv-serien.  Kung.
Det var helt spontant och jag gillade det.
Och sen träffade jag Julia's pappa.  Han påminde mig lite om min pappa fast helt annorlunda.  Fast ganska lika.  Typ när de skojade med varandra.  Jag saknar min pappa :/

2 WEEKS.  15 dagar tills jag är i stockholm.  17 tills jag är i Dallas. Shit vad coolt :D

December 11th, 13th

December 11th I leave Umeå for a month.
I love my godmother.  She's sponsoring my trip to stockholm and back by plane :D amazing! she said she couldnt have me on a bus for 10 hours; It was unacceptable :P

So the 11th I leave Umeå.
The 13th I leave Sweden.
I arrive in Dallas Sunday night their time :)
Oh my, I'm so happy.

I'll be back the 12th of january (in sweden).
I'll be at school (hopefully) the 13th.  I can't really afford to miss that many more.
And I'll have my math, business, enviro, and history things with me.

Hopefully i can drive.
Or at least get my permit so I can be on the street legally.

And I'll get to meet so many people.
Aivy's having a christmas party apparently.  Fun stuff.  Then I really can see people.


Note: Do not mention anything on Facebook. We are surprising my brother and he does have a Facebook account and I am friends with him.  So...yeah. Its on the down low.

Hmm. Now to work on my business internal, english essay, tok presentation, tok essay, math stuff, and history internal.  Looks like im spending my weekend at the library, catching up and making up for the week of school that i'll miss.

I'm kind of hungry.
It's jell-o time!

This pedestrian knows better than to even try

Lee was here this weekend.  It was fun.
On thursday we went to Emmas pv's hockey game (Chiefs vs. Teg?) and just generally chilled.  Caught up.
Friday she came to school.  It was the whole "different style day" thing going on. haha and kristina. oh dear, kristina.

she was a gangsta.

Eastside! :P

Later that night we went and played laser tag with Jennie and a bunch of her friends.  my team totally won even though there were a lot of screw ups with the score.  I still like to think we won anyways :)

Saturday we pretty much chilled, went into town. We went to the apple store and played with spotify and then went and got lee her first french hot dog :D

And then we had a bit of a filmkväll with The Break-Up and Saved :)

 

And Jennie, on the high hat, pss-ts pss-ts :P

and Hanna on the kick drum, cum cum.

Then we took Lee to the flygbuss :)

That was our weekend in Umeå.

And now I've just spoken to my parents and there is a good possibility that I may come home for the big Xmas :D  That would truly make my year if i did.  I mean, sure, I'd have to miss the white christmas and possibly a killer new years party, but I mean...There will be time for all of that later.

Will be spending the first week we're off in Stockholm with Lee, goign to her student skiva and studenten thing and then itll be back to Umeå and then my own studenten.  and my sister will be here.  and everything will just be okay, it feels like.  Life feels like its going to be okay right now.

Things are looking up.

Recently

IB Halloween Party

First snow(s)

It was actually like the 2nd or 3rd, but it was more this time.

I'm surprised at how much i blog.  Its addicting in a way.

I guess that would be why Facebook and Twitter are so big.

People like to talk about themselves.  Well not in a bad way.

More like, people like to share what theyre experiencing and sometimes the only way to do that is to talk about themselves.

I've been feeling bitchy recently.

Not to other people, just...angry sometimes.

Not sure whats happening.

I think I need a sunny day.  Just one.

I've asked my dad to go home for christmas.  As much as i'd love to be here for break...

It feels like everyone will have their own thing to do

And I dont want to hang around doing nothing the entire time.

And I dont want to spend my christmas break studying.

Christmas is such a family time.  And my entire family, my nukes anyways, all live in Dallas.

I miss home.

And I get so depressed in the winter.

I dont think I can do this forever.

I can't be here next year.

I'm sorry.

It's feeling like its about 95% sure that I will be going to UTD next year.

Maaaaaybe Texas Tech or UNT but I dont want to live in Lubbock...Or Denton.

And definitely not Austin.  And not Houston.

I'm preparing.

Now I know.

This is my last consecutive year here.

Next July I'll say goodbye to Umeå.

Maybe I'll come back the following summer?

Maybe I'll have to work.

Either way, I will come back.  Just not in a living situation.

I'm actually thinking...

Maybe I want to do my undergrad years at Dallas and then travel.

Get a job somewhere in a different country.  Work and explore.

How fun that would be.

Dallas:

I'm really struggling, and I'm sure everyone is tired of this but I really am.
I'm not sure what happened yesterday but I got sick.  Really sick.  For about 7 hours.  It was just a random thing where my stomach rebelled and decided to hate me and I was having cold sweats and for about 10 minutes there I thought I was going to die alone in this apartment.

And all I could think of was how much I wanted to be home.

I slept for 19 hours and I spent more time at home than here in my dreams.
Every good dream i have generally involves being home.

I think I want to go home, but I'm not sure.
I think NYU is pretty much a very iffy thing right now.  I'm so glad I didn't do Early Decision.  I mean, if I went it could have been great, but right now I just don't feel like thats where I'm supposed to be next year.  I need another year or two to just be somewhere I know and love.  To me, thats either Umeå or Dallas.

I can't decide between the two, but right now UTD is looking so great.  I could get my license, get a car, get a job, go to school, live in a dorm, possibly join a sorority, play soccer again, be able to visit home whenever I  felt like it.  It all feels so easy and not just easy, but right.

But then here in Umeå I can be with my friends, have free education, live in a beautiful city I love, travel around Europe...It would all just be so great.


So I'm stuck.  Why can't I just decide!?






I dreamt that you were alive.
I dreamt that I was home and you were sitting next to me and it was just like it had always been.
Sometimes I regret leaving just because I lost an entire year with you.

I'm jealous of so many of you.

You have the life that I had always thought I would have.

Homecoming, prom, football games where no one pays attention, concerts.

Being a senior here is so different.

It doesn't feel like I'm in high school and sometimes I feel like

I'm missing out.

Don't get me wrong, I love living here, but I feel like...

This was never planned.  PESH was what everything would lead to.
Even though I never got the chance to go there, I feel like it's still my school.

I decided in 9th grade to come to Sweden.  I left after 10th grade.

It all just goes so fast.

Number 100

Yay, i reached 100 posts! :) eller? kanske det är inte riktigt en "yay"

Iaf.

Jag saknar ganska många affärer från usa, men dom här är bästa.

1. Victoria's Secret

2. Super Target

3. Fry's

4. Charlotte Russe

5. Northpark Center (THEYRE OPENING A LOUIS VUITTON STORE SOON. WTF.)


6. T.J. Maxx

7. Urban Outfitters

8. Starbucks

9. Apple Store

Sidenote for Emma:

I would wear nothing but victoria's secret apparel and etc. all the time if i had the money and an outlet in the country...

check it out: (All from Victoria's Secret)

(partly my inspiration for todays outfit :P)

(omg, the shoes.)

(The red ones are pretty much what im looking for, except  not stiletto heels...)

(oj, de har också)

Okej, men nu är det kl 1 på morgonen, och jag måste upp om...7 timmar.  ganska bra tid.  eller.

jag kommer att önska att jag hade lagt mig tidigare.

men oooh well.

god natt.

A Successful Trip

England was great. Mostly.

I've never experienced a worse cold humidity.

I can handle hot humidity. I've done that every year of my life.

But the chills and the dampness and the constant feeling of...gross...it was too much.

Anyways, we had a lot of fun overall. Except the ditching. We were ditched a lot, which was not so much fun, but we made it through.

I kind of wished I bought something while i was there, but then again, i never really found anything. Well, i found a shirt for my brother. he'll look super fly in it :)

I've been thinking about home a lot recently. Maybe it was the trip that did it, but maybe its just overall. im really wishing i could go home for christmas. im not sure if i can handle another christmas alone. even though im never really alone, it still feels like it. they all get wrapped up in their own thing and it was just me and jenny, and even then, we werent...idk...

i want to go home.

buut heres the whole growing up part, right?

i miss home. i feel like it was too short lived. i couldve enjoyed it more. so now i just have to focus on enjoying my time here. live for the moment, right?

i dreamt that i met eminem last night. and jennie took a picture of us. and i could feel my muscles, feel soreness in my legs that i didnt understand. it was so real, but i knew it was a dream anyways. i stood with jennie on a balcony overlooking an amazing view and i told her that i knew it was a dream. and she replied that she knew it too and that it really sucked. I asked her if there was any way of transferring something from a dream to reality. all i wanted was the goddamn photo of us. if i could just will it back into reality. and i really did try. but i woke up nevertheless, alone in bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing the picture had been lost.

is that sad?

Weird.

So my dad knows I like beer.  He offered me a Corona.  My mom spazzed.

Definitely on the weird side.  Like, I knew she would be upset cause she wants me to never drink or smoke or do drugs cause im her baby or whatever, but i mean...seriously?  it was beer.  just one.  in our own kitchen.

Anywho.

Biked over to Breckenridge park today to play poker with some friends. Hah.  Definitely addicted.  It was fun though.  I saw some friends i havent seen since even before i left.  We semi-planned for a day at the zoo next week.

So to fill you in, me and my besties do weird things with nicknames.  i dont know what it is, its just a thing we have.  like, once we gave all our friends fruit names.  it started off cause we were talking about who to invite to a party and they were right there so we called them by fruit so they wouldnt know that we were talking about them.  it ended up we gave everyone names.  i still know these names (well i had a bit of a recalling period after going through aivy's phone list).

but then we also have like...elite names i guess you could call it.  for example, aivy is fox, melody is shox, and im knox.  i like these names and we actually use them.  its my gaming name now :P

Recently we decided we wanted animal names so we started coming up with stuff.  aivy is G-Raffe, i'm Z/Bra, melody is P-Guino, connie is P-Bear (polar not panda). and now we're giving out names to other people.  cathryn is now du-CK (sounds hilarious out loud).  and yeah...its just silly childlike fun.  but its whatever.

the point of all of this is...im not sure what.

oh yeah.  i want to go to the dallas zoo and i plan to next tuesday.  i hope i can.  as in, there are no huge family plans.  cause in our house, family plans trump friends plans unless its big enough to be negotiable.  it works out most of the time...

anywho again.

the nights have been really nice and cool.  its 29 right now but a nice breeze and no sun and not that humid so its like, shorts and t-shirt weather but not hot.

i really liked biking outside.  i wanna go biking as much as i can before it rises again.

itll be 39 on friday and sunday.  its starting to get up there... its not as hot this summer.  its usually getting to about 40-41 around now.  and then by august we'll have like three days of 45 and then itll drop back to 40 for another week or two and then 35-40 until fall.

its really hot but unless youre outside between 11 and 3, its not as bad as youd think.

ive been sitting by the pool pretty much everyday between those times, trying to memorize my skin frying so that when the snow comes i can hold on to something from home.

what about college?  QuadC has a music business program.  I could live at home...save money.  nah.  couldnt live at home.  i love home but its really time i get out.  ive been pretty much ready to get out since i was like 14.  sigh.  senior year wont be at all how i imagined it would be.  not in a bad way, but in a way that i feel like i should really check.  is this REALLY what i want.  PESH was where everything was leading to.

this is turning into a really long post, so sorry but i write as i think and i always get carried away...

but seriously.  its a great school.  there are great people with the culture that i grew up with.  i know a looot of people and can walk the halls and actually say hey to people.  IB may be nerds but theyre still cool with the rest of the school.  well, some of us anyways.

and its just...PESH is a great school.  with hilarious teachers.  GOOD teachers.

if i stay i can get my license, a car, a job, start saving for college and go to school with my best friends.  hanging out with aivy and melody all the time drives me crazy cause we all have the same silly side that just makes every time we chill a workout for your abs cause youre laughing so incredibly hard.  we have mutual understandings.

if i stay i may not be able to do IB but if i did AP then i could probably still get into my senior year and be here.  and i wouldnt have to do stupid Swedish B HL.

and i could have my room with all my music equipment.  maybe i do want to be a producer instead.  i havent tried it yet so how do i know?  applying to college here is much easier when you have a high school transcript, not a bunch of promises and expected grades.  i wont get my grades until July.  That means i wont know if i really graduated until July.  thats dumb.

uuuuggghh.  everything would be easier if i stayed.

except for the part where ive already tasted a bit of sweden.

a n d   i t   w a s   f u c k i n   f  a n t a s t i c .

Äntligen Hemma

so this is pretty much the past 3 or so days:

missed the bus so had to take the arlanda express train.  got to the hotel at about 23.30

we came home to the best surprise ever.

no idea how they managed to keep it a secret for so long...

ran into an old friend who has recently gotten a puppy (maltese bichon mix) named Buzz (as in Buzz Lightyear :))

went to my brothers basketball game.  this is his first time ever playing so he wasnt brilliant at it, but i thought he did pretty good.

went to a friends house and looked at the yearbook from the past year.  yearbooks are notorious for making up quotes and im thinking this one HAD to have been made up.  reason to get up in the morning? yeah, right.  my friend was quoted to be saying "art is my anti-drug" pah!

brothers baseball game :) he's really active.  baseball, soccer (both rec and select now), basketball, tae kwon do, after school science club, chess club.  he pleasantly unites nerd with athlete :P

this poodle was at the game.  he reminds me of the reggaebusschaufeuren :P

very chill.

so thats whats happened so far...my head really hurts now and im so exhausted physically and mentally.  imorgon åker jag till en kompis förhoppningsvis.  Hoppas att hon är hemma.

Y o u   w a n t   i t .     S h e ' s   g o t   i t .

M o l l y ' s   c h a m b e r s

g o n n a   c h a n g e   y o u r   m i n d .