Det Här Är Ju Inte Ens Rättvisst...

Inte ens i närheten.  Inte ens i mitten av hela landet.  H&M hatar oss som bor i mitten av usa.

Det skulle bli jättesmart av dem att öppna ett butik i Dallas.  På Stonebriar, Willow Bend, eller North Park.  Det är där alla med pengar shoppar och det finns bara trendiga affärer, de skulle ju passa direkt in.

Jag kämpar för det här.  H&M måste komma till Dallas.  Eller åtminstone i Texas.  Kanske även Oklahoma.  Då är det en anledning att faktiskt åka dit.. (skooojar baara)


Jaa...

In other news...


jag har varit på Holmön i helgen firande Midsommar...det var ganska kul.  Jättefint där.
Efter det mådde jag illa ett tag och igår får vi ut till vår sommarstuga.  Fint väder, fina dagar.  Har tänkt att fara ut igen till helgen...ska se hur allting blir.

Imorgon kommer Hanna och vi ska laga en internationell middag.  Fun fun fun! Mer om det sen..




Jennnniiie come hooome, i miiissss my buudddddyy :(

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

 

 Tack Ällish för att du gör alla dagar lite lättare

 

Och Deson, som är min vän oavsett hur dryg jag kan bli (hint: det är inte bara lite...)

Och som köpte en Cola till mig när jag var ledsen :)

Jag har de bästa kompisar som finns, helt enkelt.

Även om jag är skiträdd om imorgon och svenska muntligen, jag vet att de kommer att bli där för mig och hjälpa mig om jag behöver det.

Hur kan jag åka hem när ni finns här?

Vad skulle jag göra utan er?

Getting close to 200 entries :O

'




Weeiirdo.
I know.
But i get kind of happy when i finish a song, even if its really bad or just kind of like "umm...okay?"
And by kind of i mean really super.
Hmm so my songs are all the same kind right now so im gonna try something new next time...maybe a bit of hip hop? Any suggestions? On what it could be about too?
Haha I'm already working on a song about Bonde Roger and I'm thinking about writing one about em, without ever saying his name, givetvis.


Cheese and rice.


Umm. Yeah, I actually got stuff done this weekend. Which feels good.
And its gotten to the point where i'd rather walk than take the bus because the sun is out now and it makes it so nice to be outside...So thats another plus.


Skyped Maya on Saturday, glad to know shes the same as ever :P
Dea came home now but hasnt said anything to me at all. Haha but then i'm sitting on the sofabed with headphones on in the dark and all my music stuff out. Bubble pretty much.
Saturday night kind of freaked me out. A lot. I'm not gonna be stupid and try not to be paranoid, but yeah. I have no idea where I'm going with this.


Goodnight.

Plugghäst

That is what I am right now.

But I'm getting shit done.  which is what i really need to do now if i plan on graduating...
History is kicking my ass.  REALLY shouldve taken chemistry or physics instead.

But. "ce la vie" (ahahahahaha jenny i love you)

Okay, so here's the plan.  Miiight go to the library but i actually think im doing much better at home for once in my life.  But ill grab my stuff later and meet jennie down town and go with her to her house to watch the new episode of Grey's Anatomy and then the Blind Side!  I seriously love that movie.  And then skyping maya if she remembers :P

Sport movies are so great.  Haha even if they generally tell the same story every time.  Remember the Titans, Coach Carter, The Blind Side, The Mighty Ducks :P 


I'm sitting in a ray of sunshine
and that makes everything seem okay.  Its amazing what light can do.
Whats the psychology behind that?
Why is dark bad and light good?
I never understood that.  Cause even though I like the dark, there is nothing better than going three weeks without sun and then having a single ray of sunshine come in through your window when you wake up.
Maybe its the feel of summer?

We have new neighbors.



Jag saknar dig och önskar att vi kunde prata mer :)

Dull

Life has been so uneventful lately.
I mean, yeah, we have a lot of fun and a lot of shit happens
but nothing...BIG.

Super Bowl.  (Amazing)

That's about it.

I need to get out more I think.
These past few months I've kind of holed up in the apartment.
I don't have any freaking time to do anything, which sucks.
Every day that I procrastinate I fall even farther behind.


I can't wait for school to be over.
Just a couple more months.
And then I'll be 18.
And it'll be summer.
And who knows, I might be going back to Dallas.
Or maybe I'll be here, in Umeå...


Valentine's Day is Sunday.
All Star game is this weekend.  IN DALLAS.
daaaammmn wish i could go.
i liked sports before, but this year its exploded.  maybe its because i stopped playing.
i hate that i dont play soccer anymore.

cant wait to start again.


later.

Don't worry Anne

I'm keeping this one.  But this one will only be in English i think...Not sure yet.  I don't want to write everything twice but i've started writing much more often...

This is one of my favorite poems and I just stumbled upon it now...
It's called A Dream Within A Dream and its by Edgar Allen Poe.
And basically is outlines my thoughts on TOK :P

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"

New?? Again??

I'm going to have an almost entirely swedish blog.
heh.
freak, i know.

[[ÄffishUnplugged.blogg.se]]
:P nerdy name too
but idk.  i was out of ideas.

Dinner at my uncles tonight :)
Vi hörs.

Hungry

Done with my Vive Voce now :)
And hungry.
Luckily school ends 11.30 today.
Food soooon.
Hurry history!
Then its Swine Flu Vaccinations
And plugga.


I'm seriously considering this.
www.worldvolunteer.se

Mmm ;)

As I have made fairly clear, I've become obsessed with Glee.
My favorite character, I'm pretty sure, is Puck.
He's an asshole, but he's hot and every episode shows a new side of him.
Yes yes, I'm a geek.  But if you even remotely like musicals, then I assure you that you will get attached as well.

What's so cool about Puck (not necessarily the coolest thing though)
is that he was born and raised in Dallas. So it was pretty much a shout out to my hometown :)

And he's a musician. A damn good one as well.
I have a thing for (good) musicians...

Recently

IB Halloween Party

First snow(s)

It was actually like the 2nd or 3rd, but it was more this time.

I'm surprised at how much i blog.  Its addicting in a way.

I guess that would be why Facebook and Twitter are so big.

People like to talk about themselves.  Well not in a bad way.

More like, people like to share what theyre experiencing and sometimes the only way to do that is to talk about themselves.

I've been feeling bitchy recently.

Not to other people, just...angry sometimes.

Not sure whats happening.

I think I need a sunny day.  Just one.

I've asked my dad to go home for christmas.  As much as i'd love to be here for break...

It feels like everyone will have their own thing to do

And I dont want to hang around doing nothing the entire time.

And I dont want to spend my christmas break studying.

Christmas is such a family time.  And my entire family, my nukes anyways, all live in Dallas.

I miss home.

And I get so depressed in the winter.

I dont think I can do this forever.

I can't be here next year.

I'm sorry.

It's feeling like its about 95% sure that I will be going to UTD next year.

Maaaaaybe Texas Tech or UNT but I dont want to live in Lubbock...Or Denton.

And definitely not Austin.  And not Houston.

I'm preparing.

Now I know.

This is my last consecutive year here.

Next July I'll say goodbye to Umeå.

Maybe I'll come back the following summer?

Maybe I'll have to work.

Either way, I will come back.  Just not in a living situation.

I'm actually thinking...

Maybe I want to do my undergrad years at Dallas and then travel.

Get a job somewhere in a different country.  Work and explore.

How fun that would be.

Yes, Yes, Yes!

Taggade Yes-Man i fredags.  Loooove it :D
Yes-Man and Grey's Anatomy.  It was an explosion of happiness.

I've decided that I want to wach the Saw films.  I read the plots online so i could understand what they're about and they were actually pretty interesting.  Like the trap where the guy has to do emergency trach to breathe cause his heads in a glass jar thing filling with water.

Me: I like how I know what a tracheotemy is because of Grey's.  I learn a lot of common medical terms from watching that show.  Like aneurysm.
Jennie: or inoperable tumor.
Me: ...

we have fun.

Yesterday was Halloween.  The whole idea of a party just never happened. haha.  Instead jennie came over and we watched The Orphanage and Shaun of the Dead, both are great films.  Oh my goodness, the Orphanage is sooo good.  It's super creepy and super messed up but its a more classy type of horror film.  its not even really a horror film.  more like creepy film.  and Shaun of the Dead is one of my favorites so no complaints there :)

Afterwards it was a sväng omkring stan as we waited for Jennies bus.  Saw a looot of drunk people in costumes.  Some were funny (wolverine, duffman) while others were creepy (jennie knows which one im talkig about)

Halloween is very different here.  If I go home, I'm really going to enjoy next years halloween.

Och nu ska jag äta kalkon, typ Thanksgiving-style, fast det är inte Thanksgiving än.
Ska kanske skype-a hela familjen senare.  yay :)
Saknar hemma ganska mycket just nu.

This Scares Me

I really hope you're okay.
I know the doctors said not to worry, but I do, and I am.
Please Please Please be okay.
Please make it not as bad as it sounds.
Please just be okay.

Everyone has shit going on in their lives

Everyone has stuff that they can't really talk to people about

Because it's not interesting, or they don't know what to say...

But mostly because people don't give you the opportunity to speak your mind because they're so busy trying to tell you about their lives.

We are all crashing and burning,

spinning out of control.

And it's not something that we decide to do,

It's simply life.

I can't take in everyone elses' pain and suffering

cause i'm already dying from mine

and likewise with everyone else.

So many secrets.

Not because no one can know

But because no one would know what to do with it.

It just causes tension or pity or boredom or indifference.

I tried talking to you about it

But you were so wrapped up in your own problems

Things that I don't think mean anything,

things that I thought were so blissful compared to my situation

But then I realized that you were in the same situation

And had been for a while.

We are all the same

We're just too big of self absorbed drama-queen bitches to admit it.

And not just girls.

Don't you realize the pain you are causing?

Why did you choose this?

I miss you more than I can say.

I don't know how to tell you I hate you.

Shut up and get a life.

Stop complaining.  They love you

youre just too whiny to ever notice

everything that they do for you and you

just shut them down.  every time.

you should be grateful.

I loved you.  Maybe not now,

Maybe not in the same way

But I just thought you should know.

Don't be afraid to be who you are

People love you, whether or not it's true.

It's not a bad thing.

It's who you are and don't be ashamed of it.

Oh my god.

My teeth grind every time

I hear your fucking voice.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I wish I could have been there to hold your hand,

to give you my shoulder.

When the time came to say goodbye.

What the fuck.

I thought we were friends.

You really are a jackass.

Please oh please just be okay.

Undisclosed Desires

Apparently I'm not the only one that realized the heavy influence of Depeche Mode on this Muse's song Undisclosed Desires. Haha people have written about it already...

Almost done with my EE.
I managed to get it under 4000 words.  as in, after much debating and editing it came out to 3985 words.
Shit.  I'm amazed that I got it to that point.  2 weeks ago i was trying to reach 2000 words.  today i was struggling because i had 4100 words and wasnt even finished yet.

Really, if you just sit down and focus on it, the words begin to flow and the research makes sense and everythign just falls into place.  It was a nice feeling.

Matte med Studies gruppen

Nu pratar deras lärare om histograms.  Lite tråkigt (cough) men jag jobbar på min Extended och bara sittar här.
Hanna G, du är så duktig i skolan.  Jag är lite avundsjuk att du är klar med så mycket.
Jag vill bli klar med det här.  Skolan.  Jag vill ta studenten nu.

Bara några grejer klar:

1. Extended Essay
2. Business IA
3. History IA
4. Math portfolio (snart)
5. Swedish oral presentation
6. English essays on Arthur Miller and Samuel Beckett, reading Tennessee Williams, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, and Wislawa Symborzka
7. Theory of Knowledge essay and presentation

On the bright side
Bara 2 lektioner kvar tills höstlov!!  Det är jättespännande.  Och sen ska det bli fest kanske, många filmkväller, och kanske några sleepover-festar ;P  jag ska också resa ut till holmsund kanske en dag och besöka mina farsföräldrar.

Och sen kommer v.45 och Hanna G ska kanske bo med oss några dager (haha ska se hur det går) eller kanske en vecka.  Filmkvällar varje kväll och efterfest på balkongen, visst?

Ja, det kommer att bli roligt ;)

/Hanna

Here I am, on top of the mountain again

Dea and I went to Willy's today to do some grocery shopping.
I complained pretty much the entire way there.  Sorry about that Dea :)
But my bike was squeaking super loud and the seat is broken so i cant sit on it comfortably and it hurt biking and my lungs were burning from the cold air.  So i complained.  i need to kick that habit.

I think that people take the teacher-student relationship for granted in sweden.  in dallas it was like we couldnt really talk to our teachers because...it just didnt work like that.
as we got older, it was okay but generally, you were friendly and polite but never friends.
here we're allowed to be closer to our teachers in a way that we can speak freely with each other.
i wish people could see that its better that way.

owner of a lonely heart

What would Elvis do in your shoes?

Just nu tänker på halloween, thanksgiving, och jul.  alla kommer skitsnabba...

Men vad ska vi göra om det?

Halloween:
Costume party! Eller, om det finns bara några sticken fortfarande i umeå på höstlov, kanske minst en skräckfilmkväll?  Nånting spooky. i miss how all the houses used to get all decked out, over the top, even the insides filled with decorations.

Thanksgiving:
Dinner!  The whole 9 yards på det här.  Liksom förra året.  Ahh, så himla gott!  Kalkon, äkta potatismos, stuffing, gravy, bread rolls, majs, allting möjligt! kanske även pumpkin pie :)

Och Jul:
Samma sak här, jag saknar hur festive allting blev.

jag vill hem till jul, men vet inte om det är möjligt detta år.

Everything is right around the corner.

Shieza, its already almost November!

Taking My Ball

Yesterday was fun.  Jennie came over, made fun of my scones, and then we watched Jackass and Tokyo Drift :)

TD is my least favorite of all the fast and furious movies, Han is the only thing that saves it :P

Anyways, discovered today that a previously unreleased Eminem song was leaked out today.  It was planned to be on the DJ Hero: Renegade Edition cd, along with more hits by him and other legends (Lose Yourself) but escaped onto youtube :)
here it is:





REMEMBER TO SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS
Pay for your shit.  If you download it first thats cool, but if you really like it and you have the money, buy the fucking cd.

While writing my ee on pirating, im realizing more and more how much artists suffer from downloading.  seriously.  they dont make shit unless theyre like in the top 10% of selling artists.  those guys are cool, but everyone else is struggling and have to tour all the time just to make some cash.

Ain't no stopping me from chopping him up, up

I am addicted to Eminem, pretty much.

I've managed to create a small list of my all-time favorite artists.  And I mean, all-time. Not stuff that I enjoy, but the "oh.my.god.i.love.this.artist.so.much.im.collecting.their.discography" kind of stuff.  This is not in order, btw, as they can't be compared to each other that way.

1. Pink Floyd
2. Eminem
3. Bad Religion
4. Radiohead
5. Amy Winehouse
6. Mindless Self Indulgence

Thats my list :)

It's none of your dang business, kid.

I'm still sick, but i would say im much better, just still pretty tired and lacking energy and i still have that gross pleghm-y cough that burns every time.

I'm doing my laundry now :)  I haven't really gotten around to it lately but now im doing 3 loads.



I need a party.
Maybe i'll throw a halloween party.
but people are leaving :/
so that kind of sucks.
but maybe we'll just have a movie night at my house anyways :)

scurry movies.


A world so dark
A world so cold
A world where only some will go
                                (Stay Wide Awake!)
But none return
When will they learn?
Where do they go?
God only knows
             Stay wide awake...

Weaknesses

Just nu vill jag bara gråta.  Även om livet är ganska bra just nu, jag har det ganska svårt att hitta allting utom den dåliga grejerna just nu.

Min bror har svin influensa.  Jag är också sjuk och varje gång jag höstar vill jag gråta därför jag har så jävla mycket ont i huvudet och halsen.  Mina "lungs" känner liksom dom ska bara sluta att funka.

Jag saknar hemma just nu.

Jag kommer aldrig at bo hemma hos mina föräldrar igen.  Och det känns jättebra och jättedåligt på samtidet.  Jag älskar mitt hus i Dallas och jag älskar faktis min familj.  Jag saknar min lillebror och min syster.  Hon fyller 20 nästa vecka...och min bror fyller 12 år i november...

Och jag vill tänka på bra grejer, men allt jag kan tänka på är att jag känner sjuuuukkk...

jag måste vara stronger men just nu kan jag bara vila och gråta.

i   h a t e   b e i n g   w e a  k   l i k e   t h i s .

Number 100

Yay, i reached 100 posts! :) eller? kanske det är inte riktigt en "yay"

Iaf.

Jag saknar ganska många affärer från usa, men dom här är bästa.

1. Victoria's Secret

2. Super Target

3. Fry's

4. Charlotte Russe

5. Northpark Center (THEYRE OPENING A LOUIS VUITTON STORE SOON. WTF.)


6. T.J. Maxx

7. Urban Outfitters

8. Starbucks

9. Apple Store

Sidenote for Emma:

I would wear nothing but victoria's secret apparel and etc. all the time if i had the money and an outlet in the country...

check it out: (All from Victoria's Secret)

(partly my inspiration for todays outfit :P)

(omg, the shoes.)

(The red ones are pretty much what im looking for, except  not stiletto heels...)

(oj, de har också)

Okej, men nu är det kl 1 på morgonen, och jag måste upp om...7 timmar.  ganska bra tid.  eller.

jag kommer att önska att jag hade lagt mig tidigare.

men oooh well.

god natt.