This Scares Me

I really hope you're okay.
I know the doctors said not to worry, but I do, and I am.
Please Please Please be okay.
Please make it not as bad as it sounds.
Please just be okay.

Everyone has shit going on in their lives

Everyone has stuff that they can't really talk to people about

Because it's not interesting, or they don't know what to say...

But mostly because people don't give you the opportunity to speak your mind because they're so busy trying to tell you about their lives.

We are all crashing and burning,

spinning out of control.

And it's not something that we decide to do,

It's simply life.

I can't take in everyone elses' pain and suffering

cause i'm already dying from mine

and likewise with everyone else.

So many secrets.

Not because no one can know

But because no one would know what to do with it.

It just causes tension or pity or boredom or indifference.

I tried talking to you about it

But you were so wrapped up in your own problems

Things that I don't think mean anything,

things that I thought were so blissful compared to my situation

But then I realized that you were in the same situation

And had been for a while.

We are all the same

We're just too big of self absorbed drama-queen bitches to admit it.

And not just girls.

Don't you realize the pain you are causing?

Why did you choose this?

I miss you more than I can say.

I don't know how to tell you I hate you.

Shut up and get a life.

Stop complaining.  They love you

youre just too whiny to ever notice

everything that they do for you and you

just shut them down.  every time.

you should be grateful.

I loved you.  Maybe not now,

Maybe not in the same way

But I just thought you should know.

Don't be afraid to be who you are

People love you, whether or not it's true.

It's not a bad thing.

It's who you are and don't be ashamed of it.

Oh my god.

My teeth grind every time

I hear your fucking voice.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I wish I could have been there to hold your hand,

to give you my shoulder.

When the time came to say goodbye.

What the fuck.

I thought we were friends.

You really are a jackass.

Please oh please just be okay.