Forget What You're Told

Never have I ever had so many secrets of my own.

I'm meeting people, people I really like and want to get to know but I don't really know how to proceed.
I'm a friend-whore it's been discovered.
I love meeting new people, I love making new friends.
But I'm not super close with anyone yet.  I haven't found my BFF, y'know?
I know people, I'm super close to lots of people, but I wouldn't call anyone here at 3am just because I can't sleep and something is on my mind and I'm hurting.

They say they'll be there for you, but I guess I just haven't seen that level of commitment on a friend level from anyone.

Everyone is backing away once I do something they don't agree with.

I don't judge you, why do you get to judge me?
I didn't judge when you ruined other peoples' lives, when you ruined your own life, when you did and said things that most people wouldn't ever let their friends say to them.  Because I understood that there's always a reason.  But one thing I'm having trouble understanding is why I'm not allowed to make what you call mistakes.  Why I can't enjoy life to the fullest even if that involves doing things that aren't what you consider right.

I stand by my actions.  I regret nothing.  Every decision I make takes me to the next step and thats all that matters.  Why waste so much time wondering if youre ready for something?  Just do it.  Life is too short to bother anymore, I've discovered.  Especially since I'll probably die young.  I'm convinced itll happen and I don't know why...

Ughhhhh.
I'm getting carried away.