Pessimism is an emotion, not a philosophy

I keep wondering if I made a mistake.  If I should have stayed.
But then I go: "oh no! don't be silly, you've had a great 2 weeks home again!  You have a full ride to the university and you're living with some of your best friends on campus! Why the hell are you complaining?"

And then I remember "Oh right.  I decided to major in Chemistry.  The subject that I find fascinating but have only taken one class in (in my sophomore year)."

I've done the pros and cons countless times.
Chemistry (PRO): I like it. Good opportunities.  Great schools both here and and in Umeå.  Leads to a great paying job if I work hard.
Chemistry (CON): I'm not sure if I'll still like it.  I'm stuck here for 4 years if I do it most likely.  It doesn't exactly feel like my true calling.

MusB (PRO): Feels natural.  That dream that I've always had.  I'd work for it.  It could take me around the world.
MusB (CON): Education only offered at few locations.  Extremely competitive.  No guaranteed pay for many years.  I will most likely be broke and struggling to make ends meet while relying on my parents for help sometimes.


WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT.