HAHAHAHAHA

Asså, livet är ju jättekonstigt ibland.  jättekonstigt.  De senaste dagarna har bara varit...förvirrande och kula och lite tråkiga men oftast bara...ja, konstiga.

Kanske borde jag börja från början? HAH, eller inte.

Men lite bakgrund ska ni få iaf.  Jag har träffat några stycken som jag tycker är hemsk kul.  Jag vet inte vad ska hända med allt det här men nu är det bara att ta det one day at a time, liksom.  I fredags gick jag till musik labben och jobbade på min låt.  I lördags åkte jag till Trinity River och var volontär och jobbade där ett part timmar.  Det var kul men jag tror jag är lite sjuk eftersom jag kom hem och sov och var bara otrevlig.

Men sen fick jag en sms att jag skulle få lite musik av någon så jag fick ta lite medicine och bli trevlig.  Efter jag fått musiken gick vi alltisammans med alla som bor i mitt hus och åt middag.  Efter detta gick vi och var på Convocation (ganska tråkigt men jag hade bra sällskap) och sen the carnival.  men det var hemskt så då får vi till en vattenpipa lounge.  JA JENNIE, nu har jag rökt vattenpipa och det var otroligt gott.  Nu måste jag bara jobba på rökringar eller vad det nu heter.

Så himla kul, men resten får jag berätta lite mer själv face-to-face ;)

Looooove,
Äffish


P.S.  Saknar mina tjejer :( hoppas att ni har det bra vart än ni är

Faaaan!

Allting gick så bra.  Jag kollade men det var inga stora blah blah blah.  Allt var okej.
Men sen sa min kompis EN SAK och jag började tänka och plötsligt är det en grej??
NEEEEJ.  JAG ORKAR FAN INTE.
Jag vill kolla runt utan att måste tänka på sådana saker.  jag vill inte tänka på någon hela tiden.  och jag vill fan inte undra om någon tänker på mig.  pallar helt seriöst inte.

jag gillar att lyssna till andra om dera små vad det ska nu heta.  men jag vill inte ha det själv just nu.  det finns bara för jävligt mycket att tänka på redan.  nu kommer det gå overboard, liksom.  och det här är helt fel, kanske.  jag vet fan inte.  FAN FAN FAN!!

Usch.  Nu måste jag börja lugna ner mig.  Det här går inte.  Får se hur det blir.  Jävlar...

SHIT.

Oversimplification

Sometimes, it's a good thing.  Like today.  Everything just feels like it can just happen instead of me thinking about things.  Sometimes I overanalyze, sometimes I oversimplify.  The latter is what is in effect right now.  Life seems...well, not as complicated as it usually does.

It's nice to be on campus and go to university and blah blah blah.  It's really a good feeling.  But I find myself thinking about Sweden a lot and how much I wish I was still there.  So I've decided that I have to go back.  When I would go back is still undecided, but the decision is simple.  And as for my major...Well, chemistry isn't as exciting as I thought it would be.  In fact, I'm so bored during that class that it's usually when I find myself daydreaming.

So again, simple.  Chemistry is not for me.  I thought it was, but it isn't.  I could care less about Rutherford or Dalton or the structure of the atom.  I think it's cool, but more as a hobby than a profession.

Next on the list to try it music production/artist management.  And after that...Hotels?  I would love to run a hotel...Hm.


Speaking of simple, I donned a simple outfit today as well, with just my Gina Tricot denim shirt and jeans and an old bag from many years ago that is the perfect size for carrying my books/papers, wallet, and keys :)

A New Obsession

Basically, I have two new obsessions.


1. Machine Gun Kelly - A super amazing rapper from Cleveland, this skinny white boy uses sampling and writes really wicked rhymes.

2. Racquetball - I haven't played a sport in a long while now, unless you count the short-lived stints with Innebandy and training soccer with Umeå IK.  Other than that, the last time I played a sport was before I moved to Sweden, in 10th grade.  And then it was soccer, so I had been doing it for like...a gajillion years. But either way, I've found this new sport that just really makes me happy cause it's so fun!  Everyone should play.

Other than that, not much to say.  I took a personality test as part of my Rhet 1101 class and my test results were scarily precise.  I got ENFP.  Some characteristics:
- They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things (I get waaaay too excited about things)
- ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents (idk if i would call it a talent/skill, but i am definitely interested in EVERYTHING)
- An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals (this has been my main issue for the past like 10 years)
- They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships (i am interested in people...sometimes from a distance though)
- They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled.
- They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

We Didn't Start The Fire

It was always burning, since the worlds been turning


Thursday night I went with some friends to the Koto Japanese Asian Fusion bar/lounge and ate mango ice cream.  Haha.  But it was mostly vietnamese people.  Speaking in vietnamese.  I ain't vietnamese and I definitely don't fit in with that crowd, so it was pretty awkward at times.

Friday night I went with the same friends out to the nightclub Plush in downtown.  It was alright.  We danced but it wasn't that many people there for some reason.  Saw a really hot guy, but he kept disappearing :/  We watched the fashion show and continued dancing until we got so fed up with it being slow and just left.

Today my dad picked me up and we went and fixed my bank and bought some textbooks so I can do homework that is due monday...  But yeah.  then I came back and was hanging out with my roommates and Brody (haha) and listening to music.  Cathryn brought back her acoustic/electric bass guitar so that was pretty cool.  We tried to jam but we don't play the same music.  She's into jazz and blues, I'm into classic rock...

Theres so much more but I don't feel like documenting every aspect of my life.  So goodnight, all.  I'll talk to you tomorrow maybe? ;)  Pictures later.

Artist of the Week Resumes!

This week is Machine Gun Kelly, a (kind of hot) (WHITE) rapper from Cleveland, OH.

I'm basically in love with this song, and the video makes me crack up cause I heard it in Aivy's car the first time and just assumed he was like...y'know...a big black man.  Not to be racist or anything, but generally white boys can't/don't/shouldn't rap.  But I really dig MGK... Way cooler than Asher Roth, tycker jag.

Chip Off The Block by Machine Gun Kelly

Going Greek

Yesterday I went to the Greek Barbeque at the pool.  There was a dj and all the sororities and fraternities were there to talk.  I was with some friends and so I went and talked to people while Aivy and Cathryn went into the pool.  After maybe an hour or two I turned around and saw Aivy and one of our neighbors trying to get people to dance on the ledges of the pool.  It was puurty funny.

But anyways, I kind of liked the idea of joining a sorority, even though this is a very new notion in my head.  I mean, I thought about it in the spring and thought it would be cool but then I just kind of forgot about it.  But now...I'm pretty sure I'll go through recruitment next week :)

Classes started today.  I went to my history class and it seems normal enough that I think that I could totally pay attention! Haha, which is a big deal for me cause the last two years of history have made it very difficult for me to focus...

Anyways, now I just have chem lab and intro to mgmt systems left for today and then I'm going with some friends to some lounge club thing to celebrate some strangers' birthdays.  And tomorrow one of ours turns 18 so we're hitting up a club :)  Has potential to be super cool!

First college outfit :)

haha in front of my stolen lady gaga poster...

Well, I guess it wasn't really stolen, the concert was over and it was getting rained on anyways...

Peace out.

What?

Hm.  I was just invited to join a fashion website called Lookville?  Apparently its legit, but I'm treading slowing.  Signed up...But I don't really know where to go from there.  It's like the yahoo!answers for fashion.  Apparently.

Maybe I should write more about fashion haha.

Effifo Strikes Again

Nothing like fruit parties on the balcony at 01.00am

crazy stuff..

Found all my classes today.  I'm set for tomorrow.  Now I just need to get my textbooks and some supplies.  I also set up my bank, so that's a relief.  Except I'm a dumbass and left my card at home and so I have to go back in to link my student ID with my account.  I wonder how well that works... Whatever.

Found a new artist.  I'm not sure how new he actually is, but I dig him.  Tinie Tempah (haha).  It's catchy anyways.

Oh Oh Overdrive

I really like that song.  Overdrive by Ola.  Oh wait, did I just say that I really like a song by Ola?
Yeaaah buddy.  I did.  But it's super catchy!

Anyways, I am now a proud owner of a learner's permit.  It was getting to the point where I thought I would never get to see the day.  Hmm, but here it is.  Even though I'm not smiling in my picture.  (Oh yeah!  Even permits have pictures now!  And cost more too!)  I actually look like I'm really peeved about something, like a bratty little kid, actually.

This weekend consisted of dinner at Lee's, which was great, and getting my permit.  I played with Nike a lot as well.  I do love me some Nike.

My henna tattoo is going away! :( noot coool.  But that is the circle of life, no?

Now I'm just gonna watch some True Blood and then go to sleep.  Important things to do!

1. Go to the student union and set up a bank account!
2. Apply for a job at Target :/  But maybe I can do that later?
3. Eventually buy some textbooks, at least the ones I know I need and can already find cheap.

Oh, maybe it's not that many things to do...

Oh well!

All Growed Up

And all moved in.

My room is done, our shared rooms are pretty much done (except for like...a couch).  Everything is happening super fast in the evenings and the days are just draawwn out cause its so hot and I want to walk to places, but its also super humid so mostly I just want to stay inside.

Yesterday consisted of packing the car, moving stuff to campus, eating lunch with my dad and brother, and moving things in.  We mingled with our friends, both those who live on campus and those attending different schools, and saw everybodys apartments.  We did groceries, squeezed in a home visit and then ate.  As it got later, we decided to go to something called "Dessert Night" but when we got there we realized that it was a church-group that was leading the night and that they wanted to "get to know us."  Basically, we heard "we want to convert you to our group."  So we got root beer floats and ditched.  Pretty fast too.  Hopefully we don't run into them again haha.  I almost felt bad, but then I got distracted.

Today was really random.  Bookstore, lounging about, pool party with free food, lounging about, dinner at the dining hall, playing catch with an orange, destroying the orange, lounging about, searching for an office all over campus only to find that it was closed, then Aivy and I went to hang out at someones place and ended up accidentally hanging out with neighbors.  It resulted in an ice cream run and internet!  So that's pretty cool in my book.

We were supposed to go to a meteor shower buut my ride got tired and didn't want to go so I was kind of left with no means of getting to the field where it would be visible... which sucked.


Ugh, I need to get a car.  But first, license. haha.  But I'll be one step closer this Saturday when I get my permit...


Blaaaaah, maybe I should sleep.

Arrrrrgghh

My brother and I went to the park just now with Nike.  We both had rollerblades on so that Nike could run and we could keep up.  I took Nike and my brother got bored or something and said "Oh, I'll go around.  I'll meet you on the other side" (Of the school)

Of course, Nike was attacking a small child at this moment, so I was like "whatever I gotta take care of this" and didn't see which direction he went.  I keep going and I go around the school and he's not there.  So I go back around to where I was originally and wait there for 5 minutes.  Then I go to a bench and sit down for 10 minutes and just watch out for my brother.  no trace.

So I get worried and I start praying that everything is okay and that he'll come around the corner at any second.  No luck.

I go around the park one more time and still nothing.  I'm so worried at this point, 20 minutes after he has disappeared, that I decide to call my moms phone (he usually takes it) to see if he answers and is at home or if not, then he'll tell me where he is.  If he doesn't answer, then I'll have to tell my mom that I lost him.

he answers.  hes at home.  he thought i went home so he left.  didn't even bother to call when he realized that i wasnt at home yet and probably had no idea where he was.

So.  As stated.

ARRRRRGGGGHHH

Call Me Dynamite

Texas has decided that I need to go to a class in order to get my drivers permit.  Ugh.  So I have to pay about a hundred dollars for that and then a bunch of random fees will probably show up.  ten bucks to get my eyes checked.  I'm reading off of a sign and they tell me what I can't see, how is that worth ten bucks?? It should be included.  Jesus Christ...

Ugh anyways.  I liked my outfit today.  And I found my bracelet from an oooold phase ;)

My closet looks HUGE in this picture!!  It's pretty big, but here it looks way bigger.

Yesterday's karaoke was hilarious.  Except for when we were there for like 40 minutes and were expected to pay as much as or more than people who had been there the entire time...The bill was like 37 dollars at the end, there were 17 people which equals like just over 2 dollars each.  For an hour and a half.  If we were there a third of the time, why should we pay for everyone else's time?  We barely even sang.  As in, we did once.  By force. It was fun, yes, but they wanted like 2-3 dollars from each of us (in our group of about 4-5people).  Umm, no thanks?

But our group took some pretty ridunk pictures as well.  With props and everything.  I got the viking hat because well, y'know... ;)

Wow, the most asian pictures eveeer.. <3

After that it was to IHOP where we had giggle attacks until we figured we should leave before we got too out of hand and went to Aivy's.  We were only there for like 40 minutes before we decided to go home though...

Overall, it was pretty cool.  Except for saying bye to Tori.  That was pretty depressing.  She's going to Alaaabaaaammma :'(  She's like one of the coolest people I know so that sucks pretty freaking hard.

Hmm...todays big plan is packing, tomorrow I move onto campus! :D

Heena Tatueringar

Nu har jag kommit hem efter en dag med tatueringar och goda drinkar från Sonic :) Vattenmelon är seriöst en av de bästa frukter någonsin.  Ällsskkkaaar frukt <3 <3 <3

Iaf, så här såg dagen ut:

(Top: Alexis.  Bottom: Mine)

(Aivy's)

(Aivy and her friends little sister)

Next on the list is karaoke with some pretty cool people tonight.  Oh my goodness.  More on that later.

Peace.

Bowling or the lack thereof

Aivy picked me up just shy of 10pm and we headed to Plano Superbowl with her friend Marine and met up with Alexis and Richie there.  Basically what happened next was pretty fuuunny.  They told us that all the lanes were taken up and there was a waiting list of about an hour and a half.  We got on the list and found a table and just started talking.  Around 11.30pm they called our name and we were like "uuuhhh...we don't really feel like bowling anymore" so we took our name off the list.

We decided to buy nachos instead.  And when I whipped out my camera, Richie, being Richie, asked the policemen standing behind us to take our photo.  He complied but denied being with in a picture with Richie afterwards.  I almost felt bad for the guy, being hounded by a little kid :P

We were looking for somewhere to go afterwards, but we just couldn't think of any 24/7 places other than like WalMart (which became a running joke)...

So we decided to make plans for today instead and came up with getting Henna tattoos and taking pictures?  Either way, I'm eating out with my family minus my mom tonight at IHOP as part of this thing for Nike's agility group.  I'm not sure what we're doing really, but IHOP sounded good...

And now Aivy wants me to go do karaoke tonight with some people from Plano.  WOW. okay.  We'll see about that.

You Can Find Me At The Bowling Alley

Just came back from the dog park with my dad, sister, && Nike <3  We had a bit of ice cream and chilled and now I'm going bowling with Aivy and people from her work.  I'm not much of a bowler (except for on  Wii Sports, there I am nothing short of a champion) but this has potential of being cool.

Catch you guys later...

Tejas

So I was looking to perhaps buy a used acoustic guitar, just for fun to have on the side of my other ones (okay so one is a kids acoustic guitar and another is technically my brothers now cause I "sold" it to him, but I'm the only one that plays all 3 guitars in the house so I like to think that they're basically all mine :P).

Anyways, I was looking through Craigslist (sort of like the american version of Blocket.se) and I found this and just thought it was so awesome.  Apparently they were used in a KERA program and this guy is selling it now.  Either way, I thought they were supa cool.

Waiting in line at the aquarium now. It's hot and i'm sweating and i don't understand why there are so many people...this line never ends! But downtown dallas is pretty sweet so...I guess it evens out.

Like A Fuck You For Christmas, This Gift Is A Curse

I love Nike.  I really do.  He's adorable, smart, a good boy, and did I mention adorable?
He was a bit resistant in the beginning of his agility training this morning, but near the end he started getting everything super fast.  Afterwards my dad took us to get slushees, but I just stole some from Jenny :P

Anyways, today's big plan is the Dallas Aquarium with an old family friend who's driving down from Denton to hang out with me and my sister.  Should be fun :)

So i'm trying out mobile blogging...

Rewrites, Model Houses, & Video Premieres

I'm writing my own version of Eminem's "Deja Vu." I'll let you know more later ;)

Today consisted of hanging around the house and swimming all day until around six in the evening when I got picked up and taken to Northpark Mall.  Browsed a countless number of stores, fell in love with a countless number of clothing/shoes/accessories.  What can I say? I'm easily woo'ed by material things sometimes.

Here are some things that I found today:

(Baker's)

(Burberry)

(Betsey Johnson)

(Victoria's Secret)

Oh I wish I had the money and the body shape to have all of these marvelous things.

In other news, Eminem's new music video for his hit single duet with Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie" debuted today with Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan.  I liked it, although I don't believe it's his best video.  I honestly feel that "Way I Am" is the best one...I'm not sure why.  It was the first music video I saw with an Eminem song...Maybe it's purely out of nostalgia?

Anyways, here's the video:

Pessimism is an emotion, not a philosophy

I keep wondering if I made a mistake.  If I should have stayed.
But then I go: "oh no! don't be silly, you've had a great 2 weeks home again!  You have a full ride to the university and you're living with some of your best friends on campus! Why the hell are you complaining?"

And then I remember "Oh right.  I decided to major in Chemistry.  The subject that I find fascinating but have only taken one class in (in my sophomore year)."

I've done the pros and cons countless times.
Chemistry (PRO): I like it. Good opportunities.  Great schools both here and and in Umeå.  Leads to a great paying job if I work hard.
Chemistry (CON): I'm not sure if I'll still like it.  I'm stuck here for 4 years if I do it most likely.  It doesn't exactly feel like my true calling.

MusB (PRO): Feels natural.  That dream that I've always had.  I'd work for it.  It could take me around the world.
MusB (CON): Education only offered at few locations.  Extremely competitive.  No guaranteed pay for many years.  I will most likely be broke and struggling to make ends meet while relying on my parents for help sometimes.


WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT.

Call me weak, call me coward

Feeling better.  Especially now that I've talked to my buddies ;)

My back is still super sore just where the shelf hit me, but I guess it's fine...
Either way, I had a good evening despite my (semi-self-inflicted) misfortune.

I ended up cleaning for a while and then in the evening me and my brother took Nike to the park and played a bit of soccer.  Damn, that dog can run.  We had so much fun running from him while passing the ball to each other.  But as things riled down, I ran into a friend of mine and we ended up catching up for a bit before splitting ways and heading home.

Swimming has become a daily activity, and yesterday was no exception.  Swam and then started the movie Cloverfield (looove Marlena) but it was too creepy for my little brother so we watched The Proposal instead and decided to continue Cloverfield today while light out.  The Proposal is actually a supercute movie, I like :)

Todays big plan: THE DENTIST. Dum dum dum.

Depressed and Sore

Today, as I was cleaning my room, I decided to push the sofa bed back into a sofa.  Everything went well until I realized I hadn't pushed it up all the way.  I had already pushed the sofa up against the wall but I didn't think twice about it.  So I pushed it again to make it sit more upright.

Basically what happened next was I accidentally pushed the things that hold my shelf up and three shelves and two metal bars came crashing over me.  I covered my head as everything fell but a wooden shelf fell on my back and I just felt flashing lights of pain for a few seconds before it numbed out.

The aftermath.

I've been so stressed these past few days and I guess the shock and the repression of emotions or something just threw me off guard and suddenly I was crying and I just couldn't stop.  It was really depressing.

What was worse was that I later found two marks on my guitar where the shelf hit it.  The 50 dollar kids acoustic guitar was totally unharmed, but my 600 dollar electric was of course damaged.  Which caused more tears of frustration.

Now my back is sore, my guitar is damaged, and I am determined to clear out the shit in my room that I have borrowed, do not use, or just plain do not want.  If I had less stuff then I would have more room and this entire thing would not have happened cause I would not have had to fold up the sofa bed.

UGH.

I'm so pissed.  My guiiitaaaarr :(