CAS Show

oh mah gaaad.
im nervous.  apparently there will actually be an audience.  like not just pibs, but peoples friends and families and boyfriends.  so yeah.  im nervous. but eh, it feels like that will be gone by tomorrow :P

Im bringing my guitar to school tomorrow so I can practice with hanna l, wish you were here :)

there are actually a bunch of hilarious things going on with the CAS show.  I hope someone films it.  I would love a copy in the end.

Stockholm in just about 9 days i believe.  and now Jennie B is coming with me! :D
the plan so far is:
Thursday: Leave from Umeå 12.40, arrive around 21.35, stay at Lee's.
Friday: Fika with an old family friend.  Shopping, general chill out.
Saturday: SAT at 8am.  then maybe just hang out :)  find a party maybe?
Sunday: Meet with my crazy (in a good way) godmother, bus at 13.00 back to Ume!

Låter bra :)




Did you exchange a walk on part of the war
for a lead role in a cage?


How I wish, how i wish you were here
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.

Calmed Down

but still stressed.

Nu sitter jag och tittar på Jennifer's Body.  Ganska bra i en dåligt sett. Asså, den är konstigt men roligt.  Typ Shaun of the Dead (men inte lika bra, förstås).  Horror-Comedy är bäst :)

"do you buy all your murder weapons at home depot?"

I like Megan Fox.  Even if people think shes an idiot and a horrible actress.  I like her :)

She's hilarious.

Examples:

"People talk about it as though I'm trash because I have tattoos. I find that insane because it's 2008, not the 1950s.  Tattoos aren't limited to sailors. It's a form of art I find beautiful. I love it."

"I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who've said, "You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!". That's because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them."

Going down a bad road ever so suddenly

I feel overwhelmed.
It was fine before dinner..
Suddenly, out of nowhere, my head hurt and i feel pressured to do everything at once.

I need to finish my business internal, and ive just discovered that the manager does not want me to speak to him.  I could switch my question super fast to the one i have to do for my nyu application but im not sure if i want to do that.

I need to do my extended essay.  desperately.

Ive barely looked at my history internal.  and its a weird question too.

and college applications.  the early decision thing is killing me.  im suddenly finding it very difficult to apply.  I hate that i go to a swedish school without real fucking grades cause now i have nothing to show them except for predicted grades which dont stand for anything.  i could make a 7 on the mocks and a 4 on the exam.  and what happens then?

im sick.
and i dont orka anything.
i really feel like giving up.
even though i know i wont.

i just need to suck it up.

and right now all i can think of is how much i hate doing this
and how much i miss my dog.
shes on my mind every time im alone.
every time there are no distractions.



i was overloading on the happiness maybe.

after talking about it today
ive thought about it.


why havent i been angry since i came here?
its not cause im super happy here.
its not cause i have no reason to be sad.
could it be because im so determined to forget the things that fill me with rage
and make me want to break down and cry
that i have to laugh at everything
in order to stay sane?


and could it be that its now going against me
and all this laughing
and happiness is starting to wear me down?


but right now i have legit reasons to be happy.
so right now its okay.  but in general.

Nu är det på g

Stockholm om precis 2 veckor.

Pannkakor till middag.
Grey's Anatomy imorrn.
Och Blondie på radion just nu så då går jag :)

College Application

So i've spent the last hour editing my common application.

and i started filling out my NYU supplement.

and the question read:

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do?

My answer:

Miss Dirty Harry.

Blondie <3

As I said to Jenny

Im a nerd.
But right now, i'm okay with it.
Cause i'd rather be a nerd than an idiot.
Haha.
That sounded dumb.
More like, I've been the idiot before.  I'm tired of feeling stupid.
I'm okay with feeling smart.

So the soap incidents the past 2 days will be forgotten.
And replaced with the sense of accomplishment.

I am a primarily nAch and nAff person i believe.  A bit of nPow but not much.
That be McClelland, yo.
Yuh.

Realization.

I want to major in Music Business.
And minor in Chemistry.
And play recreational soccer.

This can be possible at NYU.

This dream makes me want to shape up and do this.

So no more msn during classes.
No more blogging.
This is the last one.
During classes  that is.

So now I'm bidding farewell to my slacker self.
It was fun.
But it's time for me to grow up.