738

I've sat since yesterday morning and just studied business.
I've read through 738 pages.  I know business now.  I'm ready for the test.
I know the case study.  I can do this, right?

Now just math and english and history and enviro and swedish left :)

But it was worth it.  Lady GaGa is in less than a week as well.  Fun fun fun!

Now Dea and I are going to eat vanilla ice cream with warm raspberries and enjoy our break before the math studying starts :)

The Downward Spiral

Skipped school today.

But not because I'm too cool for school.

More like cause I'm a geek and am studying at home.

Nothing like taking a sick day to prepare for exams...

Both yesterday and today I've just felt completely shitty.  Really really shitty.

I just feel...sur at everything.

Only my "golden" people are making me feel happy today...

But I'm done with IB Swedish and History forever! Classes that is.  And business.  And English.  And Environmental Systems and Societies.  All thats standing between me and finals is one math lesson. Wow.

Anyways.

Yesterday I saw a great performance at Norrlands Operahus.  It was a performance by a group called the Ahn Trio consisting of three sisters from Soeul (<3) who live in New York and went to Julliard.  It kind of made me wonder what would have happened if I had put my heart and soul into the piano or viola or guitar.  I would have absolutely loved to go to Julliard...

Today I went to the bank and fixed this whole situation with my Visa card...Should have it completely done next week or the week after, depending on when I get it...I have my trip to Stockholm to think about ;)

That trip almost doesn't feel real...

Sighhh...

Still feel just...angry at life.  With no reason at all.  And I know I've been having bad dreams but for once in my life I can't really recall what they are.  I keep waking up with my teeth clenched and thinking "oh...maybe I should relax..."  Now that I know I'm doing it I'm trying to stop until I can get a bite guard or whatever its called.

I keep waking up and thinking I'm home.  I woke up this morning and there was construction going on outside (drilling, of course...).  But I woke up completely convinced I was in my bed at home, it was spring and my neighbor was mowing his lawn.  That's what I'm used to even if I haven't woken up to that in 2 years.  2 fucking years.  I miss home...I'm generally a mature person but there are also lots of kid elements in me and one of them is missing waking up in my bed and going out to eat breakfast and my brother is watching saturday cartoons and my dad is reading the newspaper.  I eat peanut butter on toast and go outside and sit with Snowy and just let her sit next me and hug her and scratch her belly.  She's such a comfort to me and I miss her so incredibly much it's insane.  Really really insane.  She was the first one close to me to die...

But I made a glass of lemonade so I'm feeling slightly better.  Lemonade and plugg for me!

I can't even think about eating...I've just lost my appetite completely.  Maybe I'll be hungry later?

I'm not reacting to the stress very well these days.  I'm usually okay at it.

But I cried last night and I cried today and I haven't cried about anything other than Snowy in a long time.

Maybe I'll feel better after I study some more.

Or when finals are over.

Or when summer is here.

Or when I'm back in Dallas.

Or when I start college.

Or never.

Out of Control

Studying is going somewhat well...

Jennie helps :P

I also got my prom dress in the mail.

My mommy sent it :)

Artist of the Week

I haven't been doing any artist of the weeks lately but I found this and had to share.

It's actually not artist of the week, but DJ of the week.

DJ Dain is pretty wicked at mash ups. This one makes me just...happy :)

Men Du.

Nevermind.
I'll tell you later.

Okej.

Har inte orkat rakt blogga för ett tag.  Inget särskilt att prata om...
Fast det är ju egentligen mycket som händer...

Jennie har varit här nåra timmar och pluggat och tittat lite på våra serier :P  Självklart har vi gjort det.


Dea är förstås en rrrriktigt freak.

Finals start May 4th.
May 8th is the Lady GaGa concert...
May 21st I'll have finished my exams.
June 3rd is prom.
June 5th Jenny and Dad are coming.
June 10th is graduation.
then it'll just be an abundance of peace and chilling in Umeå until July 15-20th when I go home.
Wow.  June 20th...Men jag vill ju bo hos Jennie ett tag innan jag far...DUH :D  då skulle jag har bott med två av mina bästisar i ett år :P
Fint fint.
Bra bra.


Taggad.

I'm super stressed but I think it'll blow over soon.  Just as long as I focus when i have the time.
And not blog.  Like now.

SM GULD SHA LA LA LA LAA

Ååååh vad bra...Teemu Laine <3