Just when I think I'm finally okay again
It hits me hard and fast that I'm really not.
I guess I have some figuring out to do.
Blah blah blah.
I'm terrified of leading a normal 9-5 life
blah etc etc blah
I'm not okay and I lost myself in that
But after crying for the first time in just over 2 years
I'm starting to feel like me again
and starting to laugh at how ridiculous this entire bitchfit was.
I know who I am
and I really am tired of being taken for granted by nearly everyone I know
So...whats the big deal?
Why I felt so upset is really beyond me.
If I want change I have to make it happen.
This past year I have been barely holding myself together
Every now and then I felt happy but often I felt depressed with no good reason.
Going on my no-secret rule. Heres a few.
I'm self destructive.
I've been depressed pretty much all year but covered it up cause I didnt want to burden anyone with my problems.
I've been near suicidal twice this year.
But those philosophies that I picked up in Sweden are still with me and have become integrated in my personality.
No secrets.
No overreactions.
Life is simple if you let it be.
People are complicated and you just have to accept that.
Sometimes you can't help what you want.
Sometimes you can't help what other people want.
Cheesy as it sounds, every wound heals with time.
People come and go in your life, but be grateful for every second you had with them.
Appreciate people but don't throw yourself under a bus for someone who can't do the same.
Hey.
Look at that.
All better.
Just needed a dose of my own therapy.
Huh.
Förlåt om någon läste hela grejen.
It was more for me than anyone else.
