CAS Show

oh mah gaaad.
im nervous.  apparently there will actually be an audience.  like not just pibs, but peoples friends and families and boyfriends.  so yeah.  im nervous. but eh, it feels like that will be gone by tomorrow :P

Im bringing my guitar to school tomorrow so I can practice with hanna l, wish you were here :)

there are actually a bunch of hilarious things going on with the CAS show.  I hope someone films it.  I would love a copy in the end.

Stockholm in just about 9 days i believe.  and now Jennie B is coming with me! :D
the plan so far is:
Thursday: Leave from Umeå 12.40, arrive around 21.35, stay at Lee's.
Friday: Fika with an old family friend.  Shopping, general chill out.
Saturday: SAT at 8am.  then maybe just hang out :)  find a party maybe?
Sunday: Meet with my crazy (in a good way) godmother, bus at 13.00 back to Ume!

Låter bra :)




Did you exchange a walk on part of the war
for a lead role in a cage?


How I wish, how i wish you were here
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.

Calmed Down

but still stressed.

Nu sitter jag och tittar på Jennifer's Body.  Ganska bra i en dåligt sett. Asså, den är konstigt men roligt.  Typ Shaun of the Dead (men inte lika bra, förstås).  Horror-Comedy är bäst :)

"do you buy all your murder weapons at home depot?"

I like Megan Fox.  Even if people think shes an idiot and a horrible actress.  I like her :)

She's hilarious.

Examples:

"People talk about it as though I'm trash because I have tattoos. I find that insane because it's 2008, not the 1950s.  Tattoos aren't limited to sailors. It's a form of art I find beautiful. I love it."

"I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who've said, "You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!". That's because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them."

Going down a bad road ever so suddenly

I feel overwhelmed.
It was fine before dinner..
Suddenly, out of nowhere, my head hurt and i feel pressured to do everything at once.

I need to finish my business internal, and ive just discovered that the manager does not want me to speak to him.  I could switch my question super fast to the one i have to do for my nyu application but im not sure if i want to do that.

I need to do my extended essay.  desperately.

Ive barely looked at my history internal.  and its a weird question too.

and college applications.  the early decision thing is killing me.  im suddenly finding it very difficult to apply.  I hate that i go to a swedish school without real fucking grades cause now i have nothing to show them except for predicted grades which dont stand for anything.  i could make a 7 on the mocks and a 4 on the exam.  and what happens then?

im sick.
and i dont orka anything.
i really feel like giving up.
even though i know i wont.

i just need to suck it up.

and right now all i can think of is how much i hate doing this
and how much i miss my dog.
shes on my mind every time im alone.
every time there are no distractions.



i was overloading on the happiness maybe.

after talking about it today
ive thought about it.


why havent i been angry since i came here?
its not cause im super happy here.
its not cause i have no reason to be sad.
could it be because im so determined to forget the things that fill me with rage
and make me want to break down and cry
that i have to laugh at everything
in order to stay sane?


and could it be that its now going against me
and all this laughing
and happiness is starting to wear me down?


but right now i have legit reasons to be happy.
so right now its okay.  but in general.

Nu är det på g

Stockholm om precis 2 veckor.

Pannkakor till middag.
Grey's Anatomy imorrn.
Och Blondie på radion just nu så då går jag :)

College Application

So i've spent the last hour editing my common application.

and i started filling out my NYU supplement.

and the question read:

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do?

My answer:

Miss Dirty Harry.

Blondie <3

As I said to Jenny

Im a nerd.
But right now, i'm okay with it.
Cause i'd rather be a nerd than an idiot.
Haha.
That sounded dumb.
More like, I've been the idiot before.  I'm tired of feeling stupid.
I'm okay with feeling smart.

So the soap incidents the past 2 days will be forgotten.
And replaced with the sense of accomplishment.

I am a primarily nAch and nAff person i believe.  A bit of nPow but not much.
That be McClelland, yo.
Yuh.

Realization.

I want to major in Music Business.
And minor in Chemistry.
And play recreational soccer.

This can be possible at NYU.

This dream makes me want to shape up and do this.

So no more msn during classes.
No more blogging.
This is the last one.
During classes  that is.

So now I'm bidding farewell to my slacker self.
It was fun.
But it's time for me to grow up.

Skype is a magical tool

It's my favorite application right now.

I've talked to my sister a lot more since i got internet.  I love it. :)
I miss her a lot.  We were supa close.

Hmm.

I'm in love with Eminem :D

This week:
Gossip Girl (2 episodes, ergo 2 hours)
House (2 hours)
Grey's Anatomy (2 hours)

But theres a lot of shit due this week.
Blah.
I guess it'll be a weekend thing :)

The Cove

"In the 1960’s, Richard O’Barry was the world’s leading authority on dolphin training, working on the set of the popular television program Flipper. Day in and day out, O’Barry kept the dolphins working and television audiences smiling. But one day, that all came to a tragic end. THE COVE, directed by Louie Psihoyos, tells the amazing true story of how Psihoyos, O’Barry and an elite team of activists, filmmakers and freedivers embarked on a covert mission to penetrate a hidden cove in Japan, shining light on a dark and deadly secret. The mysteries they uncovered were only the tip of the iceberg." (Apple Trailers)


This sounds like it could be an amazing film.  It's already going to be screened at the Tokyo Film Festival and the message from the film could save so many dolphins.  I want to support something that helps protect dolphins.
Watching the trailer was intense.

Internet and Lasagna

I was at Emma's dads place yesterday and we watched Idol together :)
and Gossip Girl :)
but i hate megavideo and how you can only watch 72 minutes and then you have to wait like 56 or something to continue.  we need to catch up and then watch season 3! the first episode has already aired!

and greys this week! my heart literally starts going uber fast when i think about it.  2 hours of intense action :D as expected, as always delivered.

Oh, One More Thing

That 46" tv has been traded out for a 55"

What the hell do I get my mom for her birthday now?
A card.
My dad got her a tv.  I'm giving her a card.
Well, we'll just say mine has more heart in it?
It's never about the object you get, but still.
I want her to feel appreciated.

Mavs Madness

12:00

[Comment From jake] have you ever thought about controlling your actions during games, the attention your actions brought last year were a negative for the team and the organization as a whole, dont you think the fans get tired of seeing your childish behavior at games, its embarrassing to some of us how you act and carry yourself. no other owner does that mark.

12:03

Mark Cuban:  This will be my 10th year.   I promise you Im not going to change. the real question is why anyone would be embarrassd by the actions of someone they dont know ? Or why you think you are entitled to judge someone you dont know   ? Hows about you be you, and I will be me. We are one big happy family ? Next time I see you, we can hug it all out. Ok ?

have to say, im with mark on this one.  yes, mark and i are on first name basis :P

All-Star NBA game in Dallas, 2010.

i wanna go home for spring break for that ... :(

but maybe ill be in Toulouse!

Mavericks Pride!

Ch-ch-ch Check it out!

Ooooh, yet ANOTHER blog?
I'm bad at this.  Or maybe I'm good at this.  Depends on which way you look at it.

Anywho.  Yes.  Another blog.
But i'm not alone this time.
Well really, i dont have that many blogs.
I have:

• Blue Ink Only (personal)
• CAS blog (school)
• Zene A Siketek (music talent search)

and now.
-drumroll-

Stuvade Macaronies!

so yes.  check it out.  fun recipes and stuff.  brand spankin new so far.  as in, less that an hour old!

http://www.stuvademacaronies.blogspot.com/

yay! :D

A Successful Trip

England was great. Mostly.

I've never experienced a worse cold humidity.

I can handle hot humidity. I've done that every year of my life.

But the chills and the dampness and the constant feeling of...gross...it was too much.

Anyways, we had a lot of fun overall. Except the ditching. We were ditched a lot, which was not so much fun, but we made it through.

I kind of wished I bought something while i was there, but then again, i never really found anything. Well, i found a shirt for my brother. he'll look super fly in it :)

I've been thinking about home a lot recently. Maybe it was the trip that did it, but maybe its just overall. im really wishing i could go home for christmas. im not sure if i can handle another christmas alone. even though im never really alone, it still feels like it. they all get wrapped up in their own thing and it was just me and jenny, and even then, we werent...idk...

i want to go home.

buut heres the whole growing up part, right?

i miss home. i feel like it was too short lived. i couldve enjoyed it more. so now i just have to focus on enjoying my time here. live for the moment, right?

i dreamt that i met eminem last night. and jennie took a picture of us. and i could feel my muscles, feel soreness in my legs that i didnt understand. it was so real, but i knew it was a dream anyways. i stood with jennie on a balcony overlooking an amazing view and i told her that i knew it was a dream. and she replied that she knew it too and that it really sucked. I asked her if there was any way of transferring something from a dream to reality. all i wanted was the goddamn photo of us. if i could just will it back into reality. and i really did try. but i woke up nevertheless, alone in bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing the picture had been lost.

is that sad?

JEEEAAALLLOOUS!!

my family got a new tv last night.

im sooo jeallouss.

its so pretty :(

A Powerful Message

This ad should not be condemned. It's a form of shock advertising and I think it really drives to heart the seriousness of our situation.

The ad says: "The tsunami killed 100 times more people than 9/11. The planet is brutally powerful. Respect it. Preserve it."

Blogging

is not a routine for me.
But it's starting to be.

I'm royally ticked off right now.
I came to school expecting to receive an entire day to work on my extended essay and then go to swedish class (just because i hadnt told the teacher about EE day and i need the lessons) and then lunch and IVIK exchange at 13h00. and then maybe work some more and then head home.

but nooo...
we had history.
what a goddamn waste of time today.
i wish i had decided to work from home.
i want high school to be over.
really.

but.
i have to suck it up and do this shit.
i wish i didnt need a fucking diploma to say that i could go to college.
i wish i didnt need a fucking college diploma to say that i could work.
i wish i didnt need to fucking work.

what kind of lifestyle do i want in the end?